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Tantra for Two Spirits and Transgender

     Tantra’s primary principle refers to balancing “masculine” and “feminine” energy within, those are the terms I have used for many years.  Anybody can practice Tantra without regard to gender preference because everybody has both masculine and feminine within them. So, please note that most of the practices can be done alone and they have a profound effect on balancing the polarities within.

      Let’s look at Tantra as a non-dual and unorthodox path towards enlightenment. It’s important to distinguish between traditional tantra from the east and Neo-tantra, tantric sex, and modern western tantra. Tantra is a huge umbrella term for all kinds of embodied spiritual lineages.   My tantric practice is eclectic and includes both my Hindu studies, Taoist sexuality as well as my Native Spirituality and years of new age and sacred sex studies.

Tantra is the practice of being fully alive. So, no matter whom you practice sex with, you can do the practices together. For example, eye gazing is not opposite gender-dependent. Actually nothing in Tantra is gender-dependent.

I thought long and hard about how to neutralize the gender language in my guide to tantric sex and finally decided to go ahead and use conventional gender pronouns.  The techniques involved do differ according to the plumbing arrangements, and it was much clearer and easier saying "he" and "she" instead of "Partner 1" and "Partner 2," orsome such thing.  I hope we're to the point where two guys can figure out for themselves that they should just do the lingam massage twice and ignore the section on yoni massage, and vice versa for gay women. Or there could be someone in your class who is questioning or transitioning their gender, or does not conform to the gender binary assumptions of “masculine” and “feminine.”  Therefore we as sex and Tantra educators is to train ourselves to drop the terms “masculine” and “feminine” and instead use descriptive words such as soft, gentle, nurturing Earth energy, andstrong, assertive, active Sky energy.

As you may have picked up on already, the term “transgender” covers a broad spectrum of people. It includes not only those who are questioning their gender and those who have changed their appearance but also people who do not fit the gender binary.

Some tantric traditionalists implore that there must have a polarity between Masculine and Feminine (Shiva/Shakti) when practicing tantra. Through the years I’ve been to many old school rituals where gay and lesbian and trans couples are not allowed to practice with same-sex partners. I am happy to say that the trend is evolving towards more inclusion and sexual fluidity. Modern Tantra teachers are realizing that the deepest tantric practices are the solo practice of cultivating the Shiva/Shakti within. One of my fundamental teachings is a deep esoteric marriage between one’s inner God and Goddess.

On offering men’s and women’s circles, after in-depth discussion and some feeling of loss, I have switched to sharingsexuality as a whole group. As I had been focused on the value of single-gender circles when it came to sharing sexual concerns associated with having male and female reproductive systems, like erectile dysfunction or low libido that can be a symptom of menopause. Yet there is even greater value when people of all genders and sexual orientations share sexual concerns as a whole group. After all, we often share sex together, so why not communicate our concerns to one another in a peaceful, open and honest circle? In my experience, this is most inclusive and beneficial for all.


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