Tantra and Female sexual dysfunction

 

 

 

​I have always been interested in female sexuality, and in the history of female sexuality. The way in which any given culture treats the vagina—whether with respect or disrespect, caringly or disparagingly—is a metaphor for how women in general in that place and time are treated.

      I thought that if I looked at the vagina from these different historical perspectives, I would learn a great deal about women, both as sexual subjects and as members of communities; this investigation would surely illuminate where we are today. (Also, since I am a woman and I like pleasure, I was eager to learn things I might not know about female sexuality.) I thought I would find the truth about the vagina by studying all of these “constructs.” I believed that some would prove to be basically accurate, and others, deeply inaccurate.

But I now believe that all of them are only partially true, and that some constructs—including our own —are thoroughly subjective and full of misinformation.

Due to a medical crisis, I had a thought-provoking, revolutionary experience that suggested a possibly

crucial relationship of the vagina to female consciousness itself. The more I learned, the more I

understood the ways in which the vagina is part of the female brain, and thus part of female creativity,

confidence, and even character.    That initial set of insights about the brain-vagina connection, and the more subtle truths I derived from it about female emotional and sexual responses, altered my own life, my relationship, and my way of seeing, for the better. It made me feel, in a new way.

​A multinational study demonstrated that the reported prevalence of sexual problems does vary by region. For women, a lack of interest in sex and inability to reach orgasm were the most common sexual problems across the world regions, ranging from 26% to 43% and 18% to 41%, respectively.

Participants described issues such as age, physical health, mental health and relationship satisfaction as influencing sexual functioning, as well as cultural differences.


Fear of intimacy have grown to be an even a bigger problem in the world, where millions of people suffer in silence isolating themselves in pain with no hope of healing


Here are 2 issues with women. Sexual dysfunction and lack of Sexual desire. Dysfunctions can be either be Lifelong or acquired at some point in their life or it can happens only in some situations and not others.  Dysfunctions can also occurred regardless of the situation

*Female Sexual Dysfunctions*

  * Life long – the dysfunction has always been present.
  * Acquired – at some point the person was able to function without the dysfunction.
  * Situational – dysfunction occurs in some situations and not others.
  * Generalized – dysfunction occurs regardless of the situation.

There are 5 categories of dysfunctions

1. Female Sexual Arousal Disorder :   Is described as a lack of genital swelling and lubrication before and during sex or being unable to maintain swelling and lubrication.


2. Female Orgasmic Disorder ,Anorgasmia :     Is the inability to achieve sexual climax. Other symptoms include having unsatisfying orgasms and taking longer than normal to reach climax. Women with orgasmic dysfunction may have difficulty achieving orgasm during sexual intercourse or masturbation.


3. Vaginismus, sometimes called vaginism :    Is a condition that affects a woman's ability to engage in vaginal penetration, including sexual intercourse, manual penetration, insertion of tampons or menstrual cups, and the penetration involved in gynecological examinations.

4. Dyspareunia :    Is defined as persistent or recurrent genital pain that occurs just before, during or after intercourse. 

5.Vulvodynia or vulvar vestibulitis:  Is a chronic pain syndrome that affects the vulvar area and occurs without an identifiable cause. Symptoms typically include a feeling of burning or irritation.

 

Psychological factors

Stress, Tension and Anxiety about sex or as a general condition

Physical emotional or sexual trauma – rape, sexual abuse or even abortion

Low self-esteem or poor body image – A woman should accept and love her body as it is. Not loving your body will make it harder for you to feel attractive, sensual and sexual

Fear of pregnancy, contracting a sexually transmitted disease,  pain, not-performing, or losing reputation

Guilt or shame over sexual preferences, desires or fantasies

Guilt or shame over natural bodily processes and secretions

Low ability to express affection and engage in non-sexual and sexual intimacy and in emotional intimacy

General personality problems with over-control, attachment, trust, surrender, co-operation

Shyness, introversion, Low self-confidence and low assertiveness; inhibition in expressing sexual needs and preferences

Preconceived ideas about what an orgasm is and how it should feel like

Physiological and Medical factors

Surgery – Cesarean operation, childbirth trauma, hysterectomy, mastectomy (removal of one or both breasts) or other kinds of surgery in the genital area might sever crucial nerves, create a psychological impact and make it hard or even impossible to have an orgasm. However, even some women who had spinal cord injury manage to orgasm thanks to nerves which pass through the body and not through the spine.

Medication – Some drugs inhibit the natural bodily processes related to orgasm or create a hormonal imbalance.

Hormonal imbalance – excess prolactin, insufficient dopamine or progesterone, can lower libido

Menopause and old age – Physical conditions characteristic of menopause, such as vaginal dryness, thinning of vaginal walls, and hormonal imbalance might make it difficult for a woman to orgasm

Pregnancy and post-childbirth, breast-feeding, child-birth trauma

Low vitality, Tiredness, Fatigue

Physiological and psychological effects of the menstrual cycle

Devices such as IUD (intro-uterine device)

Relationship factors

Relationship issues

An un-experienced partner – many men do not know how to properly touch, arouse and make love with a woman, since they have been “educated”  by the self-censored movie industry which depicts shallow superficial sex

Partner chooses inconvenient times, has different sexual habits, has health or sexual problems,

Lack of sexual polarity and attraction between the partners

Post divorce or painful break-up or post bad relationship

Loss of sexual interest or attraction due to conflicts over non-sexual issues

Previous negative experiences with intimacy, love, attraction, and sexual activity

Not enough foreplay and not enough time for the whole sexual act

Lack of or inadequate communication – a man speaks directly and might offend a woman; most men can’t understand a woman when she speaks indirectly or uses non-verbal communication

Infrequent sexual interactions – in order to experience an orgasm and to stay orgasmic and sexual, a woman needs regular sex, preferably with a conscious loving partner

Social cultural and socioeconomic factors

Ignorance and anxiety due to inadequate sex education

Oppressive, anti-sexual or anti-feminine family, social circle, society, culture, or religion – growing up with the idea that sex is a sin or that a woman is inferior to a man.

Double standards of modern society – for women, looking sexy is good but being sexual is bad

Lack of privacy – inhibition to express pleasure AND pain via sounds and body movement

Lack of access to sexual consultation

Sexual factors

Using a vibrator for too long might make the genital area “numb” and de-sensitized. The woman might be too used to a certain kind of arousal that her partner can not provide

Over-reliance on masturbation might make it difficult to experience orgasm with a man

Focusing only on clitoral orgasms might make it difficult to experience vaginal or whole-body orgasms

Lack of sexual experience Gender identity and sexual orientation

 Tantra and Female Dysfunction

 

In women, sexual interest is influenced by their psychological mindset, beliefs and values, expectations, sexual orientation, preferences, and presence of a safe and erotic environmental setting where lack of mental well-being is strongly linked to women’s symptoms of low desire.

Multiple neurotransmitters,peptides,hormones modulate desire and subjective arousal such as

Norepinephrine- dopamine- oxytocin- serotonin- promote sexual response.

The physiology of sexual response cycle in women includes 5 phases such as

Sexual desire phase which can last for days where fantasies, dreams about the sexual object are a part of it.

Arousal phase which can last from 1- 2 minutes to hours.

Plateau phase lasts between 30 seconds to 3 minutes.

Orgasm phase lasts for 2.5 - 15 seconds

Relaxation phase for 10 - 15 minutes.

In this cycle, there are two basic physiologic processes they are vasocongestion and Neuromuscular

tension called myotonia where vasocongestion takes place in lower and upper genital organs and breasts, while myotonia takes place in the whole body.

In Tantra tradition, sexuality is tied to personal energy; Tantra is capable of changing men

and women if they submit to their innate primal sexual desires while maintaining control and heightening

spiritual awareness. This technique, when incorporated into lovemaking, can ultimately intensify the sexual dynamic or consciousness between couples as they experience their sensual and sexual energy together. Sexual enhancement, pleasuring, living consciously, and the various postures of lovemaking form an important tenet of tantrism.

The unions of the yin and yang, the male and female dimensions of sexuality, and the feelings of intimacy and connectedness with one’s partner, through the control of orgasms, are ultimately enhanced. In Tantra, the sexualgoal is to reach union spiritually, to become one being, or to lose the sense of boundaries or individual egos. To accomplish this, the masculine partner uses sexual focus throughout the day to remind the feminine partner of the power of sex. With the goal of enhanced vitality in mind, focus techniques for couples involve sitting silently face-to-face breathing together while the inner thought process is one of appreciation.

If your vagina could speak what would she say?

Would she say “I’m tired, I’m sore, I’m neglected?” Would she cry out in pain?  Why are you so embarrassed?”

 

Would she say “Make it stop? Why does he hurt me?  Why are you punishing me? Why don’t you take care of me like you do the rest of your body? Why do you harm me?" 

 

Would she say  ”I am the most sacred most feminine part that gives birth to life, why won’t do you include me in your existence?”

How Tantra Helps Anorgasmia...Ecstatic breathing is key to orgasmic pleasure and self-empowerment for women and lasting longer for men. The benefits of learning new, simple ways of breathing are extraordinary and also have direct health benefits. Breathing deeply into your belly boosts relaxation, decreases stress, allows you to focus on pleasure and put more oxygen into your blood stream. Some say that oxygen is what delivers the 'O' in Orgasm!

The first time you try tantric ecstatic breathing, you may find it to be more cathartic than sensual as it produces a deeper self-understanding about the power of your own breath.

Breath is a transformational tool that can be used many aspects of ecstatic living.

 

Such breathing techniques are used in yoga, meditation, Taoist and Tantric practices, as well as exercise and blood pressure reduction.

These calming breaths incorporate deep belly breathing for relaxation and charging' breaths for increasing mental focus and sexual arousal.

Women generally find it harder than men to focus on sexual activities. In studies with Functional MRI technology,  scientists can see the oxygen flow to the various regions of brain during different situational inputs. Men tend to focus most of their active brain regions on the sexual activities. Meanwhile, women have multiple regions in their brains going off. Areas that involve worry, trauma, unattended chores, children and external noise. Clearly, their brains are attending to other activities rather than being with their partner in the present moment.

Experts suggest various techniques to stimulate a woman into thinking about sex and put her in a romantic mood, such as seductive whispers in her ear, light, flirtatious caresses, kissing, music, candlelight and lots of foreplay. Now all this should be done long before you enter the bedroom.

Women, you are responsible for your own pleasure!
Knowing your own body and the sexual stimuli you desire is crucial.
As a woman, use your breath to advocate for your sexual focus and presence.  Yes, breathing will really increase the blood flow to your lower extremities (clitoris, G-spot and pelvic area) and help you focus n sexual arousal and the stimulus you are receiving. 

 

To focus the mind and increase blood flow, you can do several easy but specific tantric breathing techniques to effectively transport you much faster into the unified body-mind zone. A particularly easy  breath pattern is a type of panting breath specifically designed for increasing oxygen and nitric oxide in the blood.

 

How Tantra helps with Vaginismus You should also start doing kegel exercises several times a day.  Although these exercises are often prescribed as a way to strengthen the muscles at the vaginal entrance, they also help you learn how to contract and relax those muscles.

 

There are many factors that can hurt a woman’s sex life, decrease her pleasure and make it difficult for her to experience her first orgasm or to orgasm on a regular basis.



The fear and frustration increases the tension and makes the vaginismus worse when attempting vaginal intercourse, so it is important to avoid all painful vaginal penetration.  If it hurts, don't do it!  The pain reinforces the conditioning that causes the muscles to spasm, which causes the pain.  It's a vicious circle, and you need to stop triggering it so you can get rid of the conditioning.

If you are married or in a committed relationship, switch to other kinds of sex.  They can be just as satisfying as vaginal sex and many people find them even more satisfying. 

Women, when you finally decide to resolve your issues regarding female orgasmic dysfunction, you need not walk the road alone.   It is beneficial to enlist the support and guidance of a certified tantric therapist who will facilitate your healing journey to orgasmic bliss. 

This information has been collected from many books and Web sites, and from my own knowledge and experience.

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