Updated: Sep 19, 2019
" Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care". ~Buddha
When a woman feels good naked, it shows. She has an allure that comes through in the way she moves or talks or laughs. Her confidence isn't rooted in her clothing size or facial features but in her attitude—fun, delightful, free. For lots of women, even the word "naked" brings huge discomfort. I'm no longer shocked by negative reactions to the idea of nakedness. I call it naked fear. We button up. We shut ourselves down. We have an overwhelming paranoia about fat. We can't be free with our forms.
Deep down, that’s what we are really afraid of. We are terrified to be seen as our pure, raw, vulnerable selves.
We believe that if the person we care about sees us naked, they won’t love us/accept us/be attracted to us anymore.
Living in a society where any woman (regardless of age) is assumed to be ashamed of how she looks without her clothes on. And yet, aren’t many of us haters of our own nude bodies in one way or another? As any older woman would tell us—and by “older,” we mean 83, not 43—hating our bodies is a waste of energy we will one day regret.
Here, some ways to feel amazing about yourself aunaturel, no matter your age, size or genetic code.
Think about why loving your body is really important to you
If you want to change, it has to be important to you. But, without YOU knowing why it’s important to you – on a deep level – it’ll be hard to continue doing the daily work that it requires. Think about it – why is loving you + your body important for you right now? Let that inner-soul reason guide you – not the outside world.
"I Will Not Bad-Rap My Body"
Sometimes it's hard not to get on board the body-bashing train — especially when you're around women who do it too. But by pointing out your so-called problem areas — your "big butt" or your "need" to lose 10 pounds — you're actually training others (and yourself) to focus on your flaws.
. "Many women who engage in self-criticism had mothers who badgered them about their bodies when they were younger, so they continue to do it to themselves as adults because they're more comfortable with criticism than compliments." Feminism changed my whole relationship with my body, especially when I learned that beauty was a social construct — it's something humans made up. Different bodies and body types have been considered beautiful throughout history. Plus, while the beauty industry can be about empowerment and self expression.
"I Will Not Be Afraid of My Mirror"
If you’re unhappy with your looks, you might go to extremes to avoid mirrors. But the truth is, your mirror can be your best friend, helping you gain self-confidence. Get to know your body, every lump, every bump. Never leave the mirror without first identifying something that you really like about your appearance. Make sure the last image you have of yourself is a positive one, and remind yourself of it regularly, Pick the features about yourself that you love—your eyes, your smile, your butt—and make that the focus when you think about yourself. Choose to see the good in yourself, not just with your appearance but with the core of who you are. Say something nice to yourself about those parts and let yourself feel the compliment.
Pamper Your Skin
Your skin is such a sensual part of your body, so nurturing and caring for it with products that you love will ensure you get to know your naked body better and are more comfortable with others knowing it too
Build your confidence
One of the biggest barriers to feeling good in your body is low self-confidence. To combat this, it’s essential to stop comparing yourself to others. Then, hone in on your best features (such as your thick hair, perfectly straight teeth, or super-soft skin). Positive affirmations are also great for making you feel amazing inside and out.Finally, try not to focus on any of your body flaws. They’re beautiful and everyone’s got them, including famous models and actresses.
Set the mood
When all else fails, some clever mood lighting is bound to make you feel a bit more comfortable in the nude, as well as create a sense of a warm, safe environment. Try lighting some candles around the house or bedroom (Aromatic Candle like white musk.or Jasmine, Rose and Sandalwood with essential oils of Patchouli, Myrrh and Orange to provide a delicate, sensual aroma.). Not only will they give your bod a gorgeous glow, they can also be easily blown out out if the mood calls for it!
Find clothes that fit well
If you feel great and super confident in your outfit already, you’re going to feel even better when you remove it later. Clothing that fits and accentuates your favourite areas of your body are a great way of giving yourself a boost.
A figure hugging skirt is ideal when embracing curvaceous hips, or capped sleeves are a good choice for those who love their arms. Embracing these areas first will ensure that once the clothing is removed, you continue to think positively.
Find ways to enjoy your body.
You want to like your body to look good naked. One way to like your body is learn to appreciate it. Find things to do that focus on physical pleasure. This will allow you to embrace and enjoy your body, Be aware of the sensations your body feels. Really appreciate the feeling of your sheets against your skin. Eat slowly and enjoy the taste of your food.
Pay attention to real-life couples.
Have you ever looked -- really looked -- at the couples around you? Do it sometime. You'll see women with voluptuous tummies matched up with hunky, built dudes. Thin, waifish girls with large, beefy fellas. All kinds of imperfect people with all kinds of other imperfect people (because when you really look at people, they're all imperfect in some, often charming way.) Rarely are both members of a couple equally conventionally good-looking, but you can tell when they're obviously attracted to one another.
Spend more time naked.
The best way to overcome the uncomfortable feeling you get when you take off your clothing is to be stuck there alone with your bare skin. The more time you spend without all those layers on, you'll become more comfortable with who you are and what you look like.
Spend an hour a day doing your normal routine, just without a few extra pieces of material between you and your stuff. Read a book, write a blog, do the dishes and have a little fun.
You are your biggest critic, and trust me, nobody will ever be complaining if you start walking around without your clothes on. It doesn't matter how much time you spend working out or dieting. If you aren't able to love yourself for who you are, you will never find yourself happy.
Put on your favorite bra and your cutest panties, and enjoy what you have. If you can't, nobody will.
Allow yourself to be touched.
If you’re in a relationship, let your partner touch you. Let him/her caress your stomach, thighs, butt, and any other part of your body you loathe. If you are single, go out and get a massage.
When you realize that you can be touched without the other person running away from you in horror when they see you...when you see that the other person adores your body or simply sees it as what it is-a body, you can begin to let go of all of all the crazy thoughts running through your head.
It also helps you to realize your body has a shape and an end. Sometimes, when you picture your own body in your mind, or see it in the mirror, you think it’s 1000 times bigger than it really is.
When you allow yourself to be touched, you realize that your body doesn’t extend as far as you think it does. It has boundaries. And an end.
Wear sexy lingerie
Shop for pieces that flatter your figure. The right lingerie will stay true to your style and help highlight your assets. Plus, it adds to the big reveal – after all, your man can't wait to see what's underneath. Surprise him with a striptease and show off your lace. Not only will this add a dash of adventure in the bedroom, but it will make you feel like a million bucks.
Believe in your own definition of beauty.
Is your definition of beauty fitting back into your skinny jeans or looking like a size 2 model? Or is your definition of beauty strength of character, a passion for changing the world, and the ability to cheer your friends up at a moment’s notice?
A woman who feels good naked has discovered her own definition of beauty. Ultimately, it’s all about inner confidence, attitude, and belief that you truly are good enough just as you are.
When you believe in a beauty that defies external standards, you allow your OWN beautiful qualities to shine through.
Moving your body in a mindful way is much different than exercising or working out. This isn’t about forcing yourself to do something you hate. This is about tuning in to your body and asking yourself what you need. Find a way to move that makes both your body and mind feel good. Maybe a hike or a Nia dance class is what you’re looking for? If you haven’t found your mindful movement of choice, keep looking. Because the best part about finding it, is that you get to choose something you enjoy!
Appreciate all the things your body can do.
"I learned to love my body when I turned my focus from appearance to gratitude for everything my body enables me to do. I am so fortunate to be able to do kundalini yoga, Zumba, without limitations, and every time I do something active, I think about how grateful I am to be able to do so.
Step off the scale.
When you stop letting the scale steal your happiness and be a gauge for your self-worth, you will be able to really build a true love relationship with your body. Learning to love your body and be accepting of everything—excellence and flaws—is a process and a journey but one well worth it!"
Surround yourself with joy
Where do you spend most of your time? Is it your desk at work? Is it your car? When you look around your surroundings, do you feel a burst of joy? If not, the next step is to create an environment you absolutely love. It’s an act of self-love when you are in a comfortable environment full of the things that bring you joy. When you can smile by just looking around, you’re practicing self-love!
Find your place of bliss
We should all have that one place we can go to and feel blissful. Think about where you love to go. Is it a walk along the beach? A hangout with friends? A workout class? An art class? Self-love is about filling up your own cup. When your cup is full, you can better serve others.
Connect with your body
Tune in. How’s your body feeling today? Does your body need a break from exercise? Does your body need movement? Does your body need more sleep? What does your body need? Connect with and honor whatever comes up.
Follow models with your body
The more reminders you have to love your body, the easier it gets.
I can't tell you how much following models with normal bodies (often referred to as plus-sized models, which I think is silly) helped me love my body. Each time I scroll through my social media, I get another reminder that they look amazing and they love their body at their size - therefore, so can I.
I love following Robyn Lawley, Ashley Graham, Bree Warren, Swimsuits for all, Katie Willcox... and many more.
Clean up how you speak to yourself
No matter how often someone tells you your body is perfect the way it is, you won’t believe them until you believe it.
So - don't bitch about your body to yourself, or anyone else. Complaining about your body won't make you healthier, skinnier, happier or help you love your body. Dissing your body actually makes it harder to look after yourself properly. When the negative thought pops into your head, give yourself a reminder. At a minimum, don't give the thoughts power by saying them out loud.
Do a closet cleanse
You know those skinny jeans you haven't fit into for two years. Chuck them out. That 'too tight' top? Get rid of it. Having too small clothes in your wardrobe doesn't motivate you to lose weight and it doesn't help you love your body.
Don’t buy clothes that you need to lose weight to wear
Some things I learnt from the stylist that helped me love my body... If you don't feel comfortable, you won't feel confident. Never buy too small clothes that require you to lose weight to fit into them Don't buy any clothes that are see through, that you need to wear another top underneath.Never buy clothes without trying them on. Don't buy the first time you see them. Always go back.Know your body shape and buy clothes that make you feel good. Buy breathable fabrics that don't make you sweat.
Make a list of what you’d like to change and decide how you’ll change it
Now that you’ve made a list of everything you love about yourself, make a list of the aspects that you can change or improve about yourself. Make sure these are actionable, attainable goals, and decide the steps you will take to get there.
For example, " I want to eat healthier. (Don’t we all?) Instead of constantly saying I want to eat healthier I can make a plan of exactly how I’m going to implement healthy eating into my daily life. I can meal prep my lunches rather than eating out, set aside one night a week to go out with my friends, and make a new healthy recipe every week."
In this step, it’s also important to accept the parts of your body that you cannot change. This most definitely isn’t a one-day thing, but by figuring out what you can change, you begin accepting and loving your body for what it is.
Find your power outfit
It’s good to have a go-to outfit that always makes you feel fierce. Whether it’s a pantsuit or your go-to jeans, there’s something so confident about someone who knows they look their best in an outfit. Explore your closet and have fun putting new pieces together. Have a fashion show with your BFF. Remind yourself that fashion can be fun, and it isn’t limited to one body type or size.
Allow yourself to have bad days
Some days, I just want to wear sweatpants and eat ice cream and not think about having to put on a confidence face. That’s okay. Confidence and positive body image are a process, and you’re going to have days where you feel like your best and days where you don’t. Being able to understand that shows that you’re on your way to loving and appreciating all that your body can do for you.
I am perfect as I am
Create a list of all the things your body lets you do. Read it and add to it often.
I am free to be the beautiful naked Goddess that I am meant to be by divine right.
I am proud of my beautiful naked body.
I am beauty. My beautiful naked body is a divine expression of the true beautiful goddess within me
I love my body as it is today.
My body deserves respect.
Food is not the enemy, and I am grateful that I have food to nourish me.
I am allowed to take up space
.Others’ opinions of my body do not affect or involve me.
I trust the wisdom of my body.
My well-being is the most important thing to me.
I am responsible for taking care of me.
I choose to do and say kind things for and about myself.
My body is a gift.
It’s okay for me to like myself.
It’s okay for me to love myself.
I am comfortable being naked around others
My lover enjoys my naked body
I am confident in my naked body
My body is a beautiful gift of nature
I am at ease with my nakedness
My body is attractive
I am totally relaxed when naked around others