top of page

Tips and Tricks for the best oral sex


What is Oral Sex?

Oral sex involves stimulating your partner's genitals with your mouth. You can perform oral stimulation using your tongue, lips, and/or throat. Oral sex can be a form of foreplay before sexual intercourse or as the main event of a sexual experience eat pineapple, papaya, nutmeg, cinnamon to make you taste great.

Many people find oral sex to be a sensual and intimate part of lovemaking, but not everyone is readily open to giving it or receiving it until there is some discussion to address their fears and put them at ease. It can feel uncomfortable or even awkward to start the conversation but talking about intimate matters with your partner will help build trust and intimacy even if they are initially opposed to the idea. The first step is asking, but know that there are more respectful, open ways to do it than others.

Trusting your partner is essential. This part of your body can feel especially intimate, so you must feel safe with your partner(s) even in casual situations. “You can’t have good oral sex without trust,” Even if it’s just a hookup thing, I need to know you’re a person who will respect what I want and don’t want. It’s about communication and being open about [desires] so that you can be in the moment.”

Discuss STI status. Inquire about your partner’s STI (sexually transmitted infection) status and consider using a dental dam for extra protection. There is a risk of contracting STIs such as HPV through cunnilingus, but the risk is much lower than vaginal and anal sex.

Know that every vulva is different. Be mindful that all vulvas (the external female genitalia including the clitoris, labia, and vaginal opening) are different. This means the smell, look, or taste of your partner's vulva may not be what you expect, and that's completely normal.

Letting go of inhibitions and focusing on what feels good to you can bring you amazing pleasure. the best oral sex of her life was with a man who made her feel like she could be completely present and laid bare—in the best way. “To be in someone’s mouth, to let them please you, and to be completely selfish in that moment is simultaneously empowering and vulnerable,”

There are three subcategories of oral sex:

Cunnilingus {stimulation of the female Vulva} is an oral sex act performed on the vulva or vagina. During cunnilingus, the giving partner typically focuses on stimulating their partner’s clitoris, the most sensitive erogenous zone for vulva owners.

Fellatio {oral stimulation of a man's penis} more commonly called a blow job, is an oral sex act that involves stimulating your partner’s penis with your mouth. Despite its name, a blow job doesn't involve blowing on the penis; rather, you perform a blow job by licking and sucking the penis.

Analingus {orally pleasuring the anus}. More commonly called a rim job or rimming, analingus is the act of orally stimulating a partner’s anus. Licking, kissing, and sucking can stimulate the sensitive nerve endings in and around the anus and rectum. With thoughtful safer sex practices and clear communication, rimming can be a pleasurable sexual activity for persons of all genders and sexual orientations.


Many young adults and teenagers who want to preserve their "technical virginity" don't consider oral sex to be the real thing. Maybe it's because oral isn't penetration in a traditional sense, or perhaps it's because the act can't lead to conception. However, doctors say that oral sex is still sex, especially because it carries many of the same risks as intercourse if it's not done responsibly. "A lot of women focus on, 'Well, I won't get pregnant,”. "But I say there's another very serious issue with unprotected sex, whether it be vaginal or oral, and that is the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. As doctors, we tell people that, in that sense, oral sex still counts."


If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it

This obviously goes for most things in life, but it’s especially important when it comes to oral sex. You can tell when someone’s not “in” it. If you look like you’re not having fun, you won’t have fun, and neither will your partner.

Ask what your partner likes

Everyone wants something different. Licking, sucking, kissing, all of the above, none of the above—everyone gets excited over different things. While your last partner might have loved when you do XYZ, your new partner might find that uncomfortable. Instead of guessing what they like, just ask. You can make it sexy by asking them if they like when you this or that.

You need to engage in foreplay before going down on her. If you treat cunnilingus as foreplay itself, your partner might not feel ready, which can be awkward. Also, it’ll take a lot longer to get her to where she wants to be.

On average, women take 20 minutes to reach orgasm. Include some foreplay, and your jaw will thank you! Take your time kissing, hugging, and touching your partner, making sure she is aroused.


Understand oral isn’t the same as penetrative sex

This is especially helpful if you’re giving oral sex to someone with a vulva. Using your tongue, the same way you would penetrate with fingers, or a penis doesn’t feel the same; it’s actually not particularly pleasurable for a lot of women. Oral is a different sensation than penetration, which is one of the reasons why it’s so fun! Don’t spend the entire time trying to go down on them as a substitute for sex. Oral isn’t a substitute; it’s a complement.

Luckily, there are plenty of ways to improve your oral sex techniques and communicating with your partner can make a big difference. From incorporating toys, to trying different positions, to using your tongue in unique ways. If fellatio and/or cunnilingus become a regular part of your routine, either can seem ho hum after a while—just as any other sex act can get when it becomes your go-to pleasure move. Luckily there are many variations to cunnilingus and fellatio. If you're in a rut, try it on all fours, up against the wall, or in the 69 positions, for example. Just like with intercourse, experimenting with new positions may crank up your chances of orgasm.


I am not saying they’re totally fail-proof oral sex tips, but they are sexy and fun,

with the potential to produce mind-blowing orgasms!


What you eat might change the way you taste

You may have heard that eating foods like pineapple can change the taste of your vagina, that eating foods with higher sugar content, like fruit, could possibly make bodily fluids taste a little sweeter. But that effect wouldn't be noticeable right away—especially not in men, since "prostate fluid in ejaculate can be made weeks or months before

Use more than your mouth Just because it’s called “oral sex” doesn’t mean you can only use your mouth to do all the work. Your hands are an incredible tool or introduce sex toys to make oral sex a multi-sensory experience. You can touch their genitals or touch their stomach, their arms, their breasts, their inner thighs, etc. Adding that extra element of touch helps build anticipation and arousal.

Heighten The Senses You experience the best when all your senses are involved. Pay specific attention to scents—scented candles, essential oils, aphrodisiac perfume or even flavored lube should be involved in the process of heightening your olfactory senses. It triggers the limbic section of the brain, the area responsible for arousal.


Quick lesson on anatomy on female anatomy

Before I give you a small lesson on the wonders of the female anatomy, please make sure your partner is okay with you touching their sensitive areas, consensually is key. There are several erogenous zones you can play with. If you can master the art of cunnilingus while stimulating these zones, you’ll knock her socks right off her feet.

* The gluteal fold is the spot where the thigh meets the butt. It’s a suggestive zone often overlooked. Kissing, licking, pressing, or tickling this spot can drive him wild by surprise.

* The perineum is the spot between the anus and vagina. It’s full of perineal nerves, which send pleasure sensations from the perineum to the genitals. Gentle pressing, rubbing (with lube), and tickling are great ways to engage the perineum.

* The anus is a surprising erogenous zone The sphincter and the back wall of the vagina are connected to the same pleasure nerve. Gently rubbing or tickling the outside of the anus can bring pleasurable sensations. If she’s up for it, penetrating can bring a mind-blowing orgasm she’s never experienced.

* The sacrum is the triangular small of the back. It’s another overlooked erogenous zone. The sacral nerves are connected to the genitals and carry pleasure sensations from the sacrum to the vagina. You may have to press a little harder than you would other body parts to stimulate these nerves.


The Art of Cunnilingus

Follow her Movements Becoming a cunnilingus master isn’t about developing your “secret” method. It’s about learning hers. Every woman is different, and if you pay attention to her body, you’ll soon learn the best way to take her to the moon and back.

So, when you’re going down on her, please pay attention to her movements.

What is she doing with her hips, legs, arms, and back? What does this tell you about what she wants? For example, if she pushes her hips up (or pushes your head down), she may want you to apply a bit more pressure or go harder.

If she retracts her hips, you might be stimulating the clit too much, or she might be directing your tongue downward.

If she arches her back, she loves it. This doesn’t mean to go harder or faster; it means to keep doing exactly what you're doing.

This is also true if she puts her arms up near her face or head.

If you pay attention to how your partner moves during cunnilingus, you’ll soon learn to decipher these sensual signals and give her exactly what she wants.


Tips for Cunnilingus

1}Don’t go straight for the clit! Instead, opt for widespread, gentle pressure at first, the flat of your tongue first, and move your head instead of your tongue. This creates a larger surface space, which feels better initially to most people. Tease her around her vagina and her inner thighs with light licks and gentle tickles. Then, softly graze her clitoris with the tip of your tongue and pull back, if you skip this step, you risk overstimulating her to the point where she won’t be able to orgasm — and could possibly even find the experience painful.


2} Tell her to pull your hair when it feels good Many folks don’t enjoy vocalizing their desires or feel uncomfortable saying when something feels good in the bedroom. If you’re not used to being sexual with language or if it seems out of character for you, pillow talk can feel like a strange departure. But communication is at the heart of working out what your partner wants.


3} Make a point of telling her how great she tastes Many women feel self-doubt and insecurity when it comes to their vagina’s smell and scent. But let’s be real: If you didn’t enjoy both, you wouldn’t be down there. Making your partner feel at ease about both sensations can help her relax into the sexual experience.


4} Don't be Afraid of Toys Using toys during cunnilingus is a bonus for her Tongues get tired, as do backs and necks, and sometimes you really want your partner to get off but you're lagging for some reason. Bringing a sex toy or two into the bedroom can be fun and also extremely helpful in making her get off. Many men are intimidated or bothered by the idea of using a toy on their partner, as if they're not good enough or something, but the reality is that sex toys are better when shared.


5} Use your hands (and not in the way you think) Apply gentle pressure to your partner’s pubic bone. This can feel freaking amazing. You can also incorporate a finger or two and stimulate her G-spot or “clitoral cluster,” which tends to be located at the top of the vagina near the back wall. But have patience before inserting your fingers into the vagina itself. It’s best to stimulate the clit and vulva until she’s really, really ready. Using your fingers isn’t only a mechanism for stimulating your partner and giving pleasure, it’s also a solid way to know if and when she’s going to orgasm, when she’s beginning her climb, the walls of her vagina will become engorged, and you’ll feel her vagina begin to contract and tighten.”


6} The V-spot is a gathering of nerve endings past the labia minora at the entrance of the vaginal canal. Stimulate this spot by licking the vagina from top to bottom and penetrating slightly with your tongue.


7} Put a blindfold on. Receiving oral sex with a blindfold on can make the whole experience more intense. As your senses are heightened, your erogenous zones become even more sensitive. If you’re the one giving oral sex to your partner and they’re blindfolded, tickle their vulva, labia.


8} The crescendo the buildup should be like a crescendo. You need to start increasing pressure and increasing speed. Some women like a side-to-side tongue motion in the clitoral hood, while other women like an up-and-down rhythm, Some will be more into the clitoral hood and others will be more into the labia. Judge your movement based on her response.


9} Incorporate Penetration Orgasm, penetrative sex is difficult for many women When you've got a rhythm down on her clitoris with your mouth, slipping a few fingers or a toy inside of her is a great way to cause explosive, mind-blowing orgasms. Oral sex plus penetration and a vibrator will likely be too much, so opt instead for a dildo if you're bringing a toy into the bed. Slow and steady strokes in and out along with steady pressure from your mouth will work wonders for making her come. If you're using your fingers, insert your middle and index fingers, palm-up, and slowly make a "come here" motion to stimulate her G-spot. Again, apply even, steady pressure, and see if she likes it. G-spot orgasms are incredibly intense, and you'll both be pleasantly surprised at the result.


10} Clothes or no clothes? Teasing your partner through their underwear and licking along the seams is hot. And if your partner’s clit is really sensitive, this may even be their preference. Likely though, you’ll both eventually want their underwear out of the way. And for that? You might ask “can I take these off?” or “Are you ready for me to taste you?” Once you have consent, go ahead and yank them down.


11} What do you do with your tongue? Cunnilingus isn’t a one-size-fits-all game. Experiment with different rhythms, pressures, positions, and motions to find what feels good for your current partner. Start with broad, gentle pressure, and then proceed from there Some techniques to try: Oh, and start slow.

  • up and down

  • clockwise circles

  • counterclockwise circles

  • side to side

  • pulsating in one spot

  • wrapping your mouth around the clit and lightly sucking

12} How do you know if you should keep going? If your partner is moaning or holding your head in place, chances are they don’t want you to stop. So long as you’re enjoying yourself, keep doing exactly what you’re doing. Don’t let their excitement cause you to go faster or harder, because that may actually ruin the feel-good rhythm you’ve established And BTW: If you want to stop, stop! If you’re performing cunnilingus because you think that’s what you “should” be doing, or you’re not into it, your partner will be able to sense it. Some ways to transition out of oral sex include:

“I love tasting you, but my mouth is cramping. Would it be OK if I used a toy on you instead?”

13} Quick movements are great and all, but sometimes you got to go really slow lick from the top to the bottom of the clit as slowly as possible, then gently breathe some warm air along the wet path you just created. “This is a powerful (advanced) technique that can heighten sensation for both parties,”


14} Keep going when they're done. Technically there’s no limit for how many times someone with a vagina can orgasm in one session, so why not keep going after they climax to see if you can give them a second one? Same goes for the other way too: If your partner has a penis, don't pull away as soon as they orgasm. Lightly stimulate the shaft with your hand or mouth to give them all-over shivers.


15} Touch yourself. Another great way to give oral sex is to make yourself feel good while you're at it. This doesn't mean you have to 69 but consider giving yourself some pleasure while you're giving it. "Fantasize. Touch yourself. Wear a vibrating toy," "Do whatever it takes to get yourself turned on and enthusiasm will flow naturally."


16} Experiment with suction on the clitoris. Cunnilingus is often associated with licking, which is well and good, but suction on the clitoris can also feel extremely good. Have your partner try lightly sucking on the external part of your clitoris after tons of licking around the labia to get you warmed up (direct clitoral sensation like this can be too much right off the bat) or try sucking on your partner’s clit.


17} Keep your undies on during oral. Have your partner keep your undies on during all the foreplay of oral, exhaling their warm breath over the fabric of your panties, lightly tugging on the elastic with their teeth, etc. When you can’t take it anymore and they’re about to actually make mouth-to-vulva contact, have them push your underwear to the side as they go to town. The primal got to-have-you-now effect of keeping your undies on will make things even hotter.


18} Use your breath. that using your hot breath to stimulate nerve endings is an amazing way to ramp up foreplay before diving in. This works just as well with fellatio as it does with cunnilingus. Next time you’re going down on your partner, just take a step back to breathe on their sensitive parts before making contact. The suspense will turn them on in ways you didn’t know were possible.


19} Spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.


20} Incorporate nipple play. Being stimulated in multiple areas can help you reach climax more quickly. So, while their tongue is at work, have them play with your nipples. In the beginning, they should softly stroke your nips, but as you get closer, they can squeeze if you’re into that. And if that extra pressure feels good, you could take it one step further with nipple clamps. Clip them on as you’re starting to get aroused to see just how pleasurable a little bit of pain can be.


21} Cooling down can be very hot. Your temperature rises slightly when you’re aroused, so anything cool will be a pleasurable jolt to your senses. Point a fan in your direction so that while your partner’s between your legs, you’re feeling both the warmth from their mouth and a cool breeze. The combo is unexpected, and anything surprising can send you over the edge, or You can also try having them put an ice cube in their mouth before going down on you.


22} Go ahead, sit on their face. If you’re having trouble orgasming in a standard partner-in-between-your-legs position, switch it up and mount their face, being careful not to apply too much pressure. It allows your partner to access a totally new angle that might be just what you need to get there.


23} Play with the Lips One part of cunnilingus that sometimes gets overlooked is playing with your partner’s labia minora, colloquially known as “pussy lips.” “Remember that you can stimulate the internal erectile tissue of the clitoris via the lips,” O’Reilly notes. “Rub, grind and press against the lips on the outside and you’ll likely stimulate the internal clitoral complex.” This might not be as pleasurable as licking or sucking on the clitoris, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a fun part of the equation, and it’s a good option if you want to throw in some variation here and there.


24} Use Edging is a sex term for a technique where you bring your partner close to orgasm, and then back off a little bit so that they don’t climax yet. Doing this repeatedly will make the orgasm they do have at the end an incredibly powerful one.


25} Play with the backdoor the area around the anus is filled with plenty of tiny nerve endings that feel wonderful when stimulated with the hands or tongue Just make sure you discuss this with your partner first so there are no surprises. Showering together as foreplay might help you both feel clean and comfortable.


26} Tease them with kisses to build anticipation, plant little kisses on your partner’s inner thighs and pubic mound, simply hover over them and allow gentle kisses to emanate from your lips as you awaken their nerve endings and draw awareness and circulation to the area,” she says. “You can also use breath kisses over the entire body to build arousal and encourage full body orgasms.”


27} Caressing the G-Spot. slip you middle and index finger into the vaginal opening, palm up. Bend your fingers up in a “come hither motion.” Right behind the pubic bone you’ll feel a walnut-textured patch. To stimulate the G-Spot, rub in circular motions or simply apply pressure. It adds a sense of fullness that a lot of women love and there are a ton of nerve endings to be found. BUT not every woman enjoys G-Spot stimulation so pay attention to her vocal cues and ASK if she likes what you’re doing.


28} How about some humming? humming while going down on your partner can create a rather pleasurable, buzzy sensation. “Humming essentially produces vibrations that will resonate in your partner’s genitals, You’re turning yourself into a human vibrator. It may take a little practice, but it can be a real turn-on.


29} Remember that orgasm is not the only goal. In general, society tends to be a little orgasm obsessed. Oral sex is a great way to pleasure your partner without worrying about getting them off, so focus on the journey, and not the destination. Use it as a way to learn about your partner’s pleasure and your own,


30} Get permission before biting. Seriously. We’re talking about a very sensitive part of the body. For some people, even a tongue can be overly stimulating. That means that you should not be biting or nipping a clitoris unless your partner has expressly requested that you do so. The clitoris is so sensitive that the lightest of touches goes a long way. no biting, no furious motions, no hard rubbing.” If your partner happens to be into clit biting, well, you might just get the green light to introduce your TEETH! But in short: Without a verbalized invitation, keep your teeth to yourself when it comes to oral.


31} Pay special attention to the commissure, which is the area right above the clitoris and clitoral hood. It’s a smooth area of skin that tends to get ignored, due to its proximity to the obviously more infamous clitoris. pressure on the commissure can stimulate some of the internal fibers of the clitoris. Make a seal between your gum and her front commissure. You want to be a bit high above the glans, at a 45-degree angle to her vaginal entrance. Continue to apply persistent licks. If you’re having a hard time visualizing this, think about what your lips look like when you’re taking a bite out of an apple (minus the teeth of course!).


32} Use a lubricant designed for oral sex. There are plenty of flavored lubricants on the market, and if she doesn't lubricate easily or enough, trying one designed for performing oral sex can make all the difference! It can make your fingers slip easily over her body while you warm her up but will taste wonderful when you put your mouth there, too.


33} Put one hand on her pubic bone. on the mons Venus, above her clit but below her belly. This serves two purposes: You can try applying gentle pressure to the pubic bone as she gets turned on, to see if it makes things more intense for her. But even more importantly, you can use that hand to very gently pull back, possibly exposing more of her clit by lifting the hood over the clit. Note: this is best done when she's already very, very turned on and her clit is engorged. Otherwise, her clitoris may be too sensitive to be so exposed.


34} Put your hands on her buttocks so you can move her hips. involves being able to change the angle of her pelvis while you're using your mouth. This is all about experimentation, but it can make her clitoris or g-spot more accessible and can help you maintain an easier angle on your neck.


35} Try swirling your tongue around her clitoris in small circles, clockwise and then counterclockwise. Try moving up and down on both sides or licking in long, lingering strokes from top-to-bottom, and then in reverse. You’ll find the right spot, guaranteed.


36} Try some Ben-Wa balls or vaginal beads. Not everyone is into sex toys like Ben-Wa balls, but for lots of people, the mere act of trying something new is hot. For people who love internal sex toys, beads and balls add a feeling of fullness and can put extra pressure on the g-spot, resulting in deeper, longer orgasms.


37} Try a little bondage, if you're both into that. A silk scarf around her wrists or a soft rope that keeps her hands tied to the bed can be hot, hot, hot if you are into bondage kink — and many people are. Of course, any form of bondage requires open and healthy communication about boundaries and even safe words. For someone who loves to be bound, the feeling of releasing control to a dominant partner during oral sex is as hot as it gets.


38} learn these breathing and jaw techniques. The key is to breathe in through your mouth and out through your nose. If you can learn circular breathing (something musicians who play instruments that require breath know), you can go down on a girl for hours without having to come up for air. It's actually reverse circular breathing. To make sure your tongue doesn't cramp up, keep your jaw comfortably open and loose. I've found that upward strokes under the clitoral hood where the clitoris is are one of the best motions.


39} COMPLIMENT HER There are mountains of other things you can say to make her feel like a goddess… You taste amazing God, you look beautiful I love the way you moan I love it when you Because let’s face it, many people are insecure. Women especially have a lot to worry about. Despite great hygiene, there can still be natural odors, uncontrollable discharge, periods, spotting, infections, and hair (which, for some reason, freaks out some people). The line, “Don’t worry, baby. doesn’t bother me at all” can go miles towards making her feel at ease. Arousing her mind is just as important as her body.


40} PRACTICE & TECHNIQUE – There are several real techniques that people have suggested:

Licking ice-cream Writing the alphabet with your tongue Gentle/hard sucking

Using different parts of your tongue Stimulating different parts of the labia

Penetration with your tongue Humming. moaning to make vibrations

However, … There’s no holy grail of instructions. You’ll have to find the mix that makes her pop.


41} CAREFUL WITH AFTER-KISSING Just like men, not everyone likes having their nether regions kissed after they’ve had an orgasm from oral sex.

Things can often be too sensitive, and any additional stimuli will make them jump or twitch (not in a good way) and ruin their post-orgasmic bliss.


42} use CBD topically for calming vibes Topically on your vulva, it can help you relax your pelvic-floor muscles and also your anxious mind. For a quality water-based lube, and for a water-based arousal serum that will make you feel like you're walking on air.