top of page

“Tantra is about meaningful love making,”

Updated: Aug 2, 2021

Tantra is about meaningful love making

Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means ‘woven together.’ Hindu and Buddhist meditation practitioners use the sexual union of tantra sexology as a metaphor for weaving together the physical and the spiritual: weaving man to woman, and humanity to the divine. The purpose is to become one with God. The Western form of this sacred sexuality called Tantra teaches slow, non-orgasmic sexual intercourse.

Couples in my practice who have tried tantric sex find that they cultivate great sensual pleasure and also a sense of ‘dissolving into each other’ that is profound and loving. The purpose is to become enlightened, not to win an Olympic medal for carnal gymnastics.

A space of honouring and awakening for you as a couple. Be held in a safe and sacred container where you will learn through accessible teaching and direct experience the ways to bring Tantric ceremony into your partnership. Explore your edges of receiving from another and your partner. Learn how to bring worship, devotion, and new levels of passion into your relationship. And fall more deeply in love with your beloved, taking tools with you to continue to stoke the fires of your relationship, and a ceremony to come back into connection again and again.

Tantric ritual provides a path from our mundane world into an experience of the sacred. The sexual energy that we generate during sexual ritual can be harnessed for our awakening or to powerfully manifest our intentions.

Step into deeper devotion and intimate connection with your partner. To open you to see divine light within each other, to heal the imbalance between masculine and feminine, to come into expanded states of consciousness, and touch into our vast inter-connectedness with all of life.

Tantra is a ‘mindful’ approach to sex, and in contrast to ‘conventional’ sex, tantra is not about performance. “It’s not about getting your rocks off, and racing towards an orgasm – it’s about creating a true connection,” You don’t need to worry about new positions, “it’s about ‘how’ you do things rather that ‘what’ you’re doing,” Because tantra focuses on the woman, women will experience greater heights of sexual ecstasy than they have during ‘conventional’ sex. Women practicing tantra start to tune in to subtleties and intensities during lovemaking that create an ecstatic “whole body experience”, in which their partner will experience as well.

The biggest benefit that comes from tantra is the strength it will add to your relationship. “During tantra you learn to truly relate to your partner with honesty, openness and vulnerability,” she explains. This is a great foundation for “really beautiful” lovemaking.”

When you experience “beautiful” lovemaking, you release lots of “happy” hormones such as oxytocin and serotonin, into your blood stream, which will make you “feel good.” And because tantra creates an on-going connection, these hormones are constantly being released.

There are three entities in your relationship, each of you as individuals and you as a couple. When your ‘couple bubble’ is strong, your connection extends into your individuality and makes life connected and resilient. A strong Couple Bubble means really understanding your partner, and yourself, so that you connect and communicate in a way that works for your partner as much as yourself. Essentially you become experts on each other.

While vigorous sex, what we can call the ‘peaks’ of sex, has its appeal, it’s in the valleys of sex that you find real ecstasy. In the retreats you have time to really explore how to relax your genitals and get very present in them so that you can have extraordinarily beautiful sexual experiences. You’ll discover the many and varied ways of being orgasmic and how to lengthen and sustain erotic and sexual connection.

1. Breathe deeply

Start by taking a big breath and allow it to fill you from the top of your head to your genitals. Pay attention to your inhalation, and then slowly exhale. Notice how your body feels and how your senses of smell, touch, and hearing are different at the end of the breath, they may become sharper more intense.

Next, take a tiny breath, followed by another. Notice how small you feel when you breathe shallowly. Do you have tight shoulders? Simply by observing the breath, even in mundane moments, can teach us much about how it corresponds with our emotional state. When you’re feeling really good, you’re probably breathing deep and long, and vice versa.

Next-: breath is “vitally important when you are trying to make a connection with another person.” matching your breath to a person with whom you want to connect. This doesn’t have to be in a sexual context, but it can greatly enhance and deepen a sexual connection. Try it over a coffee or a glass of wine with your partner.

Practice eye gazing

This practice deepens self-love, eliminates shame, and opens the heart. Yes, it’s super hard and uncomfortable at first, so be sure to go into it with an open mind.

With a hand mirror in one hand, look into your own non-dominant eye. (Your non-dominant eye correlates to handedness: if you’re right-handed, your left eye is the non-dominant eye.) First, take a moment to breathe. Then, as you gaze into your own eye, try to have a dialogue with yourself—out loud if you’re comfortable or silently if that feels right.

You might start hysterically laughing or feel really trippy. But it’s truly a transformative, intimate practice—a kind of self therapy or relationship therapy, depending on whether you do it solo or with a partner.

Next: Once you’ve mastered this on your own, you can ask your partner to participate. Start from the beginning, staring into one another’s eyes, and see what comes up.

Accepting and enjoying the differences

Instead of judgment, there is acceptance of what is different in men and women, and between the two of you. Polarity in energies is used to merge into oneness. Tantric partners go on a spiritual journey. And of course, tantric sex is part of that journey. A journey to enjoy, and heal what is needed to be healed.

Find the “resilient edge of Touch”

We want to feel like we become the touch…When you touch the body, you want to touch deeply enough that the body pushes back just a little. If a muscle becomes rigid under your touch, you’ve gone too far. If the muscle feels flaccid, you haven’t gone far enough.”

If you want to explore this concept with a partner, “Stillness is extremely powerful. Put your hands on someone so that you can feel both resilience and resistance. Embrace them with your hands.”

Create Space: Set aside at least a couple of hours of uninterrupted, device-free time to spend with your beloved, preferably when you are both well rested.

Sex Is Meant To Be A Multi-Dimensional Experience

When we actually bring in everything that we truly are into our intimate experiences, we go from having simply physical sex to having an experience involving our minds, emotions, feelings, intuition, passion, presence, plus a pile of dimensions that you can’t even explain, they

just happen.

And the most amazing thing is that it doesn’t take any tricks. It doesn’t take a pile of methods or fancy sexual abilities. It is actually incredibly natural and programmed into us, we just haven’t accessed it.


Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page