Tantric Sex Tips That Can Help With Premature Ejaculation

Updated: Sep 19, 2019


By the way, everything written here is completely applicable to same gender sex.


Premature ejaculation can cause significant personal and interpersonal distress to a man and his partner. While it has been recognized as a syndrome for well over 100 years, the clinical definition of premature ejaculation has been vague, ambiguous, and lacking in objective.

Teaching men to last longer and to have control over their ejaculation through a basic understanding of their own bodies and energies.


I hope that my words & writing will inspire you and open your eyes and minds to the vast potential stored within your sexual energy.


With the knowledge that will be presented here there are no boundaries to how far you can go and how high you can soar. Unlocking the mysteries of our sexuality is like finding the key to the universal cosmic bang. Within the sexual energy lies a huge potential, which if harnessed correctly can strengthen our body and psyche while giving a wide range of benefits ranging from more confidence, charisma, more will power, more empathy, better intuition, more intelligence, and the list goes on and on…..


So what is Premature Ejaculation?

Review of literature 2018 from US, Canada and Europe suggests that premature ejaculation (PE) is under diagnosed. Men are reluctant to discuss it with their physicians, often, men with PE have trouble lasting long enough to help their partners have an orgasm. This can lead to dissatisfaction with sex, stress in the relationship, and feelings of shame or anxiety, anger at ones self.

Premature ejaculation is a form of sexual dysfunction that can adversely affect the quality of a man's sex life. Ejaculation is the release of semen from the body. Premature ejaculation is uncontrolled ejaculation either before or shortly after sexual penetration. It happens with minimal sexual stimulation and before the person wishes. Occasional PE is also known as rapid ejaculation, premature climax or early ejaculation. PE might not be a cause for worry. It can be frustrating if it makes sex less enjoyable and impacts relationships. However if it happens often and causes problems, your health care provider can help.


Dealing with premature ejaculation? You are not alone. Approximately 20 to 30 percent of men experience premature ejaculation, according to a study published in July 2016 in Drug Discovery Today. This often-embarrassing sexual issue can affect men of any age. In the U.S., about 1 in 3 men 18 to 59 years old have problems with PE. Europe PE was diagnosed in 201 of 1115 men. Findings were similar to those in a similarly conducted US study.

The problem is often thought to be psychological, but biology may also play a role.

In most cases, there is a psychological cause, and the prognosis is good. Medical causes more rarely, However there may be a biological cause.


The following are possible medical causes of PE:

Diabetes, Multiple sclerosis, Prostate disease, Thyroid problems, Illicit drug use

Excessive alcohol consumption, Sedentary life style.

PE can be a sign that an underlying condition needs treatment.


Three quarters of men ejaculate before 2 minutes have passed of full penetration in over 50% of their sexual encounters. Other surveys show that 75% of men ejaculate within 10 minutes of penetration. Most men have experience premature ejaculation at least one time in their lives.

Between 30% and 70% of men in Canada have PE - It affects 25-40% of men in the United Sates. It's one of the most common sexual problems in men.


As I am a Tantric practitioner who knows through personal experience that men can

last as long as they want, I define premature ejaculation as ejaculating before you would like.


Many reasons are offered why men ejaculate quickly. A very popular explanation is that it is hardwired into the masculine body. Ancient man had to ejaculate quickly to ensure that the Continuity of our Species and generate as many offspring as he could, with as many women as he could, so that no matter the situation the man delivers his semen to the woman.

Men grow up believing that the ultimate goal of sexuality is the release of pent up sexual energy in a wild orgasm with ejaculation. All porn scenes end with the guy ejaculating all over the woman’s breasts, face or backside. All movies depicting lovemaking scenes show the couple in a sexual frenzy ending with a wild orgasm that they get at the same time.

The message is clear: getting the orgasm at the same time is seen as the pinnacle of

a successful sexual encounter showing how we focus more on the goal than the process.


In this quest to attain the goal and to release our tension and energy as quickly as possible we forget about the energy flow, and sensuality. We forget about the more gentle, caressing and loving aspects of sexuality and we forget that sexual energy actually is the most powerful energy we have in our body and that it can be harnessed and channeled into a wide range of beneficial healing and strengthening processes in the body and psyche.


How do you become aware of being turned on, or angry, or nervous, or in love? Your internal energy causes sensations in your body.

It's what acupuncturists and massage therapists work with every day.


The Nature of men.

The very structure of the masculine had lead men to being out of touch with their emotions, bodies and sexuality. If a man is in his body & in the present moment, there is no goal, there is only the experience of now … in this state of presence a man can become aware of the waves of pleasure & arousal moving through his body & with the support of a tantric therapist, learn to ride them …thus creating for himself multiple & whole body orgasms & the ability to ride pleasure without ejaculation or loosing an erection.


Sensations in the body and emotions can often be disturbing factors for most men.

Men can have an incredibly tough time dealing with their own emotions not to mention the emotions of their partners. It is sad and perhaps disturbing that one of the reasons that so many men suffer from premature ejaculation is because we simply know next to nothing about sexuality and the role it plays in our lives.

The level of knowledge most people have about sexuality is next to none.

The sexual education provided in schools is very minimal to say the least

Sex education is the instruction of issues relating to human sexuality, including emotional relations and responsibilities, human sexual anatomy, sexual activity, sexual reproduction, age of consent, reproductive health, reproductive rights, safe sex, birth control and sexual abstinence.

It does not teach about sexual energy, touch, or how to talk to your partner in an open honest way.

The suppression and repression of our sexuality is one of the biggest problems humankind is currently suffering from. According to my research we’ve been dealing with this problem for many hundreds of years now. The root cause of most of the problems — even the seemingly unrelated ones — that we’re dealing with in societies around the world can be traced back to sexual suppression and repression.

We see the results of this ignorance nowadays, in all the kinds of strange pornography, sexual addictions, and the fact that many health experts actively are advising men to ejaculate daily in order to prevent prostate cancer. As a society, we are still in the beginning of understanding sexuality and how it ties into our lives.


I hope to present to you a healthy new path you can follow, which does not repress sexual energy, does not waste your sexual energy, but teach you to use sexuality in a harmonious loving and profound way helping you to last longer in bed and to create an enormous transformation in your life at all levels.

In the practices of higher sex, one learns not to try and control this force, but rather how to relax and fully enjoy it, by making more space for it. Not limiting it, but rather expanding one’s capacity to enjoy the pleasures of sensual and sexual excitement.

Tantra in stills a nurturing environment in which you can feel confident that you won’t be judged for becoming extremely excited to the degree of losing control. In fact, it encourages you to create a safe atmosphere that will support you in feeling comfortable enough to completely surrender to pleasure.


Tantra – a spiritual system entwined with Yoga that also embraces sexuality. Tantra is about expansion of the consciousness, and sexual Tantra accepts that we spontaneously have these high states of consciousness, manifesting as love, bliss & presence, when we orgasm. The more powerful the orgasm, the more powerful this expansion.

I tell clients... " That there's nothing 'wrong with them organically. They need to hear that their sexual habits are a natural product of the way they have been taught to experience their sexuality.

It is merely education and practicing new habits that can transform their sexual experience.

The exercises are cumulative, which means later ones build on earlier ones. This isn't to say you can't blow through some of the stuff that's easy for you very quickly. Go right ahead, just try everything and see if you've got the knack first.

I'm asking you now to commit to the long haul. Ideally, this is a life time program. If you practice an hour a day, you might get through it in 6months.

More likely, you'll practice several times a week and take 6 to 12 months. Can you arrange that to become an Orgasm Master?

I recommend against just an hour a week. It's not enough to develop the momentum where your mastery of one skill builds on the previous one.


Key steps to help you on your journey to lasting longer

Exercises

Like yoga have been shown to help those suffering from sexual dysfunction. In fact, those who practice Tantra recommend Kundalini yoga, because it's been shown to have tantric benefits, especially if you perform the poses with a partner. This particular type of yoga can relieve your stress and relax your body. In addition, because it is a yoga of awareness, it will improve your ability to sense and understand your sexual needs as well as your partner's sexual needs. Finally, Kundalini yoga helps to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which can be helpful when you're attempting to delay your orgasm.

Feeling good about yourself

The first thing you need to believe is that there is nothing wrong with you. Cumming is a good thing. OK, it does not always happen when you want it to.

Just consider it a timing problem which in the overwhelming majority of cases is easily corrected with training. However there is a very small chance that you have a medical condition causing your timing problem. It's not a bad idea to have a doctor check out your equipment if you suspect anything less than robust health.

As an adult we adapted our behavior into a social persona, creating defenses, that block our energy flow. Holding in emotions not only cause emotional suffering, but physical pain, glandular imbalances, tension and often disease……. There for Removing negative emotions about yourself and your sexuality can have a huge impact on your performance. These negative emotions can completely sabotage any steps you take bringing you back full circle. The moment you can forgive and accept yourself allowing yourself to release negative emotions such as self--‐loathing and guilt that you have linked to your sexuality is incredibly healing .

To open ourselves to true intimacy and the promise of exquisite union, we must embrace those parts of ourselves that are hurt, that have been rejected in the past, that may not make sense to others (or even ourselves sometimes). But we also have to love those parts of ourselves

that have criticized, berated and shamed us, accepting that those parts were trying to keep us safe, misguided though the methods may have been.

What does this have to do with sex and the possibility of achieving a satisfying orgasm? If we are holding ourselves back in any way physically, emotionally, or energetically, we will be limited in our sexual experience. If you do not trust that you will be accepted in all your flaws, as well as your beauty, your body will reflect that. If you do not trust your partner(s) physically or emotionally, you will be withdrawing rather than opening, often unconsciously.

Relaxation

If the body is tense and contracted, then things just don’t flow that well, and the sexual energy will tend to be trapped in the area of the genitals. Often when fighting the need to ejaculate, men will tense up the entire body, more and more and more, until you pass the ‘point of no return’, and explode. However counter intuitive it may be – staying relaxed in all the muscles of the body actually gives you much more ejaculation control. For starters, there is a link between body and mind, so a relaxed body will help you have a relaxed mind. Also when you do ejaculate there is a series of muscles contractions in the genitalia and sexual system, and ejaculation cannot happen if these contractions do not happen, and these contractions cannot happen if your body is relaxed. Of course, this takes practice.

So it will take practice to retrain your body to stay relaxed during lovemaking. And the very best support for this is your breath. If your breath stays normal and relaxed, the rest of your body will stay normal and relaxed too. So paying attention to your breath, when it starts to speed up, then slow down your movements until the breath slows.

Lifestyle:

You need to adhere to certain lifestyles and diets to harmonize your body, cure problems with premature ejaculation and to last longer in bed. This will not only help you to last longer in bed, it will also fill you with energy and vitality as you are living a lifestyle that supports your structure.

So balance your hormones --‐ The natural way! No pills and drugs.

Kegel Exercises

Kegels are easy to do, once you know which muscles to target. One of the easiest ways to locate your muscles is during urination.

Here’s how:

Halfway through urination, try to stop or slow down the flow of urine.

Don’t tense the muscles in your buttocks, legs, or abdomen, and don’t hold your breath.

When you can slow or stop the flow of urine, you’ve successfully located these muscles.

Squeezing these muscles gives a pulling sensation; these are the right muscles for pelvic exercises. It's important not to contract other muscles.

Contract these muscles for a slow count of five.

Release the muscles to a slow count of five.Repeat 10 times.

Do a set of 10 Kegels daily, three times a day.

When you’re first starting, it may be easier to do Kegel exercises lying down, so your muscles aren’t fighting against gravity. It may also be easier to contract the muscles for just two or three seconds at first.

After a few weeks, increase the time until eventually you’re contracting the muscles for a slow five or 10 seconds, and do the exercises standing up. That puts more weight on the muscles, boosting your workout and improving your control.

Remember not to tense your buttock, legs, or stomach muscles while you’re doing Kegels.

The mechanics of orgasms, ejaculation, and sexual energy.

Orgasm is an intense transient peak sensation of intense pleasure creating an altered state of consciousness associated with reported physical changes. Ante-grade ejaculation is a complex physiological process that is composed of two phases (emission and expulsion), and is influenced by intricate neurological and hormonal pathways.

Sexual stimulation and friction provide the impulses that are delivered to the spinal cord and into the brain. Ejaculation is a reflex action controlled by the central nervous system. It is triggered when the sexual act reaches a critical level of excitement.

It has two phases.

In the first phase,

the vas deferens (the tubes that store and transport sperm from the testes) contract to squeeze the sperm toward the base of the penis and the prostate gland and seminal vesicles release secretions to make semen. At this stage, the ejaculation is unstoppable.

In the second phase,

muscles at the base of penis contract every 0.8 seconds and force the semen out of the penis in up to 5 spurts.

These contractions of your pelvic muscles that cause the actual release of semen are also the main ones that cause the fantastic pleasure. By strengthening those muscles and heightening your sensitivity of this whole process, you can avoid the emission phase altogether and still enjoy the wonderful ecstasy of the expulsion spasms without ejaculating.


There’s another even better way to describe what Orgasm is all about from a Tantric perspective. You build up sexual tension through more and more arousal until you seemingly have no other option but to release the sexual energy through ejaculating. In fact, the Solution to mastering dry orgasms and unlimited stamina is recirculating the energy within your body. If you can spread the excitement all over, not only does it feel great, but the urge to ejaculate subsides.


The Western view of sex is a race to the climax after which lovers physically collapse. The Eastern view of physical love which slowly brings both partners to higher and higher heights of ecstasy time and time again. The essence of this is to get out of your head and into your body. Relax and stay in the moment, tuning into those wonderful feelings emanating from your sensitive places. Drop all your standards and goals and just ride the wave of energy. Don't push yourself or your partner for the Big O. When you learn to surf your sexual energy without attempting to control the outcome, you'll be able to go with the flow in a loose and natural way indefinitely.

Sexual Energy Management

Energy, like water, is the life-giving sustenance of the earth. Where water flows, life flourishes. That same principle is at work in our bodies. If we want a healthy body, energy must circulate to all parts. Without proper energy flow, the body creates tension, sickness, and disease. It is like a stagnant pool . Without continuous circulation, things have a tendency to become malignant.

Sexual energy is not only beneficial to the body but fuels the emotions as well, which can either blaze out of control or create warm, comfortable, glowing energy in the body. Sexual imbalances can cloud the mind with distorted thoughts and skewed desires, but a balanced sexuality can be the source of creativity and a way of fulfilling our dreams. It is also the energy that can create spiritual fulfillment, as it is a force that unifies and creates wholeness out of opposites.

It is very important to remember that sexual energy must be used in the proper way and not to be suppressed or eliminated. Whether you have a partner or not, the ideas and exercises talked about here are vitally important for sexual health.

Controlling Arousal

Presence refers to mindfulness, to a state of being right here and right now. As you keep letting go of any distractions of your mind, you’ll be more capable of remaining deeply connected to your body and your experience. As we become distracted, lost in fantasy or getting ahead of ourselves while chasing an orgasm, we tend to miss out on tons of amazingly beautiful sensations and pleasure in our bodies. In order to remain present, keep your entire attention inside of your body. Keep noticing every shiver of pleasure, every tingle of delight, all the vibrancy and juiciness in your body. Remember – men usually experience premature ejaculation simply because they are not aware of just how aroused they are. So don’t let that rapid release surprise you.

In order to become a multi-orgasmic man, you need to be perfectly aware of how fast you become aroused. Unfortunately, very few men pay attention to their own rhythm of sexual arousal. Instead, they pass on from erection to ejaculation like race cars, without taking the time to notice, enjoy, and watch the road they are walking on. In the initial stages of arousal, the penis becomes swollen, gaining in length and thickness, as the tissue is swollen with blood. As the penis gains in erection, the valves close the veins, preventing the blood from returning to the body.

Many sex therapists recommend using a 10-point scale for monitoring your level of arousal during practice and sex play. This is one of the main things we'll be focusing on in the coming exercises.

0 = no arousal

1 = twinge at base of penis

2= occasional little surges of pleasure

3= starting to feel good

4 = steady hum low level arousal

5 = feeling really good, metabolism increases

6 = really into it, don't want to stop

7 = continuous rush of pleasure, fast breathing

8 = buzzing inside, face flushed, heart pounding

9 = intense pleasure, outside world is far away

9.5 = point of no return, emission phase begins

10 = ejaculation (expulsion phase)

As you practice, you'll learn to measure your level of arousal as it climbs towards 9.9, the point of no return. You've been enjoying yourself immensely and maybe even feeling far from squirting when all of a sudden you feel those involuntary contractions around your prostate and you know you're gonna cum. That's the often uninvited guest, 9.9, buddy.

Guys, you're going to have to play with yourself over and over again as you learn this system

If your focus is on pleasure not orgasm, then you won't be rushing headlong towards a destination. You won't be in a race towards the finish line. You won't have a schedule to meet. You'll just slow down and enjoy.

Solo Prep

How do you do it? Simply explained, you channel your sexual energy up your inner flute from your first chakra (the sex center at the base of the spine) so your little head doesn't explode in a gush of ejaculation. You redirect your orgasmic energy primarily by using the four cornerstones, presence, breath, sound, and movement. Admittedly, learning it may not be as simple as

describing it. Once you learn to circulate channel energy, you will experience amazingly powerful sensations. These are the primary tools of running energy - visualizing that juice spreading inside, breathing deep in the belly, moaning with pleasure, rocking your hips, and

squeezing your sexual muscles - which pumps energy up your inner flute.

Remember to breathe and focus on the overall sensations. What’s important is finding things that you enjoy without any sort of judgment or self-censorship involved. Eliminate pressure or expectations for what you “should” be doing and focus on learning about what you enjoy with regards to sex and pleasure.

Unfortunately, most Westerners are not properly educated about sexuality and sexual energy. Sex is not considered a natural part of their being. The first time they touched their intimate parts, their parents most likely told them to get their hands out of their pants. Although this did not stop them from locking the bathroom or bedroom door they started to feel guilt and shame about masturbation.

Nonetheless, the Taoist masters considered masturbation (which they called solo cultivation or genital exercise) an essential method for increasing control over sexual energy and making it circulate through the whole body in order to revitalize it. In fact, the problem is too much ejaculation, as this exhausts the vital reserves of any man, whether it happens through intercourse or self-stimulation.

It is important to remember that your purpose is not to ejaculate, but to feel different degrees of intensity in erotic pleasure. This practice implies a turn towards the interior, an experience of your own pleasure, not experiencing someone's idea of pleasure.

It is also important that you stimulate the penis on its entire length. Most men focus their stimulation on the head of the penis, which is the most sensitive part. This is important because according to Chinese medicine, different parts of the penis's body correspond to different organs.

Therefore, you should stimulate the whole body of the penis, from base to head. Testicles respond very well to sensitive and gentle touching, although there are quite a few men who like firm caresses as well.

When practicing self-stimulation you should explore the spot between anus and testicles. Pressing this point before ejaculation will delay it and even prevent it from happening.

However, in the beginning you should only explore this point to get pleasure from it. Pressing this spot may bring a supplementary flux of blood into the penis, which will make it vibrate in a pleasant way.

Strong, rhythmical pressure applied to this point imitates the contractions of the prostate, which usually accompany orgasm in the contraction phase. You should stimulate this point after you have an erection for best results.

No technique is as successful in improving male orgasms as edging – holding back at the point of no return, resting, then working up to it again. And again. And again. Then repeat the process. Master the art of edging and you'll achieve contractile or "dry" orgasms: all the fun of the Big "O" minus the ejaculation and subsequent loss of erection.

Solo Mastery

In this realm, “orgasm” is not as most people tend to think of it: a burst of sensation coupled with ejaculation. In the tantric world, male “orgasm” is divorced from ejaculation, and comes in a variety of forms.

In the Western, non-tantric world, orgasmic pleasure for all of us does indeed come in a spectrum. Not all orgasms are created equal: some can be short, gentle and soothing, while others earth-shatteringly loud and all-consuming.

Going back to the very roots of Tantra and its practices, it is interesting to explore those traditional four parts as applied to the self.

*Jnana: *encouraging contemplation of our true nature and setting aside the masks we may present to the world, jnana leads to self-acceptance and self-love.

*Yoga:* particularly through the asanas (or postures), yoga reconnects us to our individual bodies, allowing each of us to nurture our body’s strength, discovering the full range of its potential.

*Kriya:* enacting the rituals of self-care (including healthy habits and openness to play), not only reflects the honoring of self, it also provides a framework for how we can expect others to treat us as well.

*Charya: *though charya is generally interpreted as spiritual principles, when applied to the self, it can serve to guide us to become clear in our beliefs and values. Intimacy requires us to stand with integrity in what we hold most dear to our hearts.

The inner feminine supports us in exploring yoga and kriya. It is she who revels in the marvel of our bodies, thrills to its expression, and joyfully cares for it. The inner masculine supports us in exploring jnana and charya. It is he who offers insight on what drives and motivates us, encouraging us to release that which presents an inauthentic face to the world.

Masculinity

Masculine confidence is a key element in lasting longer in bed.

To perform well you need to feel self confident and centered, but each time you ejaculate too early, part of that confidence fades away leading you to perform worse the next time. This downward spiral will stop when you become aware about what masculinity is and how you can create more of the energy of masculinity in your life. With masculinity comes virility, self--‐control, overview and self--‐confidence.

If a person can embrace the feelings, sights, and sensations of what’s going on, those pleasures can crowd out anxieties over performance. The practice of mindfulness can help some people become more aware and focused on their bodily experiences during sex.

Edging is a masturbation technique where a man gets as close to climax as possible and then stops in order to delay orgasm. This practice can help him delay ejaculation — a common concern — and many men report it results in more intense orgasm (eventually). Edging can build a man’s confidence about the control he has over his arousal and give him a deeper appreciation of the various enjoyable sensations of sex, rather than obsessing over orgasm.


Sex is a common confidence suck because it can be unpredictable. “There are too many factors in play for each sexual experience to go perfectly,”. A huge part of being sexually confident is being ready to react appropriately when things don’t go as planned.

How relationship factors affect sexual desire and found that a person’s ability to laugh in a sexual context was significantly related with high sexual desire in both men and women. Laughing with (not at) a partner about what goes sideways can cut tension, keep the focus positive, and make both people feel more connected.

A recent study Opens a New Window. published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that higher amount of exercise was associated with better erectile and sexual functioning. Being a healthy weight and cardiovascularly fit is likely to improve your sexual performance. Feeling good about how you look and feel probably doesn’t hurt either.

Become Sexually Educated

There are countless ways to become sexually educated. Whether it’s online, in a book, or from a professional, men who want to be assured in their sexual abilities should learn about sex. Do you know the difference between the vagina and the labia? Do women actually ejaculate? Is lube really necessary for anal sex? Knowledge is power.

For some men, there is nothing scarier than a soft penis during the act. Erections wax and wane naturally throughout intercourse and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the man or that he’s not attracted enough to his partner. So long as it’s not a consistent issue, it’s nothing to fret over. Instead, find pleasurable ways to continue sex while soft. Many sexual activities don’t require an erection.

Lack of sexual confidence can result from lackluster sex because it’s the same-old stuff. Going outside a settled routine is a simple way people can instantly feel better about their sexual competencies.. Try a new position, have sex in a different room, start with a massage, add sex toys such as feathers, silk, fake fur. Change does not have to be extreme to result in a major improvement.

Partner Prep

Tantric lovemaking is a joint dance where each lover surrenders to inner waves of energy and both assist each other to reach higher and higher peaks.

Pleasure, not orgasm, is the aim. By soaring together, each partner can reach unheard of peaks and plateaus that culminate in bigger, stronger, deeper, often simultaneous spiritual climaxes.

This means each being totally responsible for your own pleasure, asking for what you want, giving sensitive feedback, going slowly, and savoring physical and intimate delights together.

This is how love partners stretch their communion out for long periods of time.

"What this all means is that I want to go slowly, learning how to worship your body as I'm learning to love and appreciate your soul". "You excite me tremendously, but I don't want to get swept away too soon, rushing towards a quick release. I'd rather begin by playing sensitively with the energy between us for long periods of time and move forward without any

goals other than pleasure".

It's not uncommon for people to resist change. Resistance like this often causes hidden insecurities to surface. Your partner might think "if he can last forever, will he still need me?" Reassure your partner that you're doing this to strengthen your love relationship, adding a powerful bonding energy you haven't experienced very often.


Tantric couples are blissfully monogamous and that's the right style for you. or maybe you could be open to Polyamory. Above all, enter into the discussion with patience and sensitivity.

Though it may not be your past style, adopt the Tantric mindset of total gratitude for the gifts of the Goddess.

Let your partner choose to play - don't use force, pressure, or manipulation to enlist your lover's help. Continue to provide reassurance of your love and commitment to the relationship.

Make it clear that this path is designed to be a joint experience of deeper intimacy and bonding, giving you both everything you ever dreamed of.

The more you practice and play together, the more you learn about what turns each other on. Even long-time lovers don't know everything that's going on inside their partners at each moment. You've learned a tremendous amount about your erogenous zones and arousal patterns. You need to share as much of this with your practice partner as you can quickly and

comfortably. As well, turnabout is fair play. The more you each educate your beloved about what works for you and what doesn't, the better you'll both be able to read each other.

Lovemaking Skills

No matter your situation and skill level, you'll want to take precautions against unwanted pregnancies. If you're with a long-time monogamous partner and you're sure that you've both been completely faithful, you probably feel secure making love without condoms for STD protection. If you're with a newer partner, I recommend two sets of tests for STD's including HIV (the AIDS virus), six months apart, before playing freely. Regardless of your situation, I

strongly recommend that you talk freely and honestly about pregnancy and STD protection. Then, make a clear mutually-comfortable agreement before you begin.


Western science and western thought in general still lack a greater overview on how sexuality affects the human being on a bigger scale, for example, how does sexuality affect us on emotional levels? What is the nature of sexual energy? What is the relationship between sexuality and personal development?

Recently though, western science has begun to make interesting discoveries regarding the hormones and the role they play in governing our sexuality and emotions while also offering more information on how our sexuality ties into our emotional life.

By alternating giving and receiving. When you're receiving, you can completely focus your full attention on your outer sensations, your inner feelings, and your own pleasure.

To make progress, you'll have to fully accept being in this receptive role.

Achieving this a learning experience all by itself for most guys who are programmed to strive to be the ultimate satisfier of women.

Tantric Mastery

When your energy rises to your spiritual centers, the higher chakras, you'll find a natural calming and blissful feeling engulf you. It's as if your orgasmic energy is fueling your soul's psychic nature. This is why we call Tantric lovemaking sexual meditation. Some describe this as feeling like a never-ending supply of energy running between the earth to the sky through your body. Tantric lovemaking, being equally spiritual as physical, is slow and conscious. It's not

focused on orgasm, but on building pleasure and making it last forever. This

takes harmony, openness, and lots of communication between partners.


That means relaxing into the moment and fully appreciating every little new thing you learn and try. Not pushing yourself, not forcing progress, not beating yourself up if things don't go according to some schedule you make up in your head.

The primary answer is that Tantra is about mastering your own energy.

This means being aware of your needs and reactions, talking honestly about them, honoring those of your partner, and playing together as equals. Instead of "doing" your partner, you will need to do new-age things like sharing together.

Tantra has a lot to say about yin and yang energies, which we normally associate with female and male genders. But experienced practitioners learn that we all have both energies within and can act on both if we practice. So who's responsible for seeing that each partner gets the things that bring them the most pleasure? We each are fully responsible. Partnering means speaking your needs and honoring those of your partners.

Tantra is really focused on intention and awareness. Before beginning any sexual act, you should prepare the area you are going to be playing in. From putting on some good music to changing the lighting and aroma in the room, or even simply changing the sheets, the space you want to sexually explore in should reflect that intent. As you are beginning to touch each other, eye contact is key to becoming aware of what each partner is experiencing. It also increases the sexual energy, becoming more deeply connected with a person as you watch them grow more and more aroused. Awareness and really focusing on your partner can also help you reign in your sexual energy if you feel your body is getting ahead of the playing. Because you and your partner are building the sexual energy together, shifting your focus onto your partner’s pleasure can help you pause your arousal and increase your partner’s.

Start by sitting in front of each other, face to face, place the palm of your right hand over your partner’s heart center. You have chakras (energy centers) in the palm of each hand, and placing it directly over your partners heart center allows for a transfer of energy between you.

Look into each other’s eyes, starting by focusing left eye- to- left eye. The left eye is considered to be “yin” and receptive, so when you are making focused eye contact you are receiving each other, while allows for feelings of vulnerability and safety to arise.

Direct prolonged eye contact stimulates oxytocin, the “bonding hormone”, and also triggers the vagus nerve which allows the nervous system to relax.

Now exchange your breath by alternating your inhale and exhale. For example; one partner will exhale through their mouth at the same time as the other partner inhale through their nose. Then that partner will exhale through their mouth while the starting partner inhales their nose, and so on and so forth. You are literally exchanging each other’s breath. Continue breathing in this alternate exchange until it becomes comfortable and easy.

Now add light! Adding rainbow colored light to this breathing practice enhances the healing power of your breath and helps focus your minds together and begins syncing your brain wave patterns! To do this, simply imagine that you are inhaling and exhaling rainbow colored light with every breath. Continue practicing this rainbow colored light breath exchange until you lose all sense of time and place. At this point your energy centers and brain wave patterns should be harmonized and you will have entered into an altered state of consciousness together!

When you agree to end the intimacy practice, take a few moments to “check in” by sharing how you feel in your body and heart, and what you experienced during the practice.

Don't just use touch but also focus on taste, sight, smell and sound to help you awaken your senses and make sense a more all-encompassing experience. Try bringing music into the bedroom, or food, such as chocolate or fruit. Maybe bring a blindfold so that your partner isn't relying on sight to excite them but instead touch and smells.

It is often said that a woman's most powerful sex organ lies between her ears. Since desire can be short-circuited by fear, guilt, stress and a host of other distracting thoughts, women often need to concentrate on feeling rather than thinking when making love.

Taking breaks to pleasure each other, manually and orally, is a great way to ward off any lingering diversions and to coax one or more orgasms.

Tantric kissing is more than just locking lips. we tend to forget that our lips are one of the most sensuous arts of our bodies, with countless nerve endings, hundreds more than our fingertips. But don't use your tongue. The tongue is usually not used in tantric kissing, and when it is, it is only a little, and very delicately.

For beginners you can try this technique

First, relax all your facial muscles. You want your lips and mouth to be open and welcoming. Close your eyes, breathe deeply into your belly and let go. Kiss your partner’s upper lip (Yang) . Use both your lips to embrace their upper lip. Let your lips be open and full. Suck gently.

Then kiss your partner’s lower lip (Yin). Fully enjoy all the sensations. Explore the rich softness of your lover’s lip. Kiss your partner’s lips together. Do the full embrace and feel how your partner's excitement builds.

Clitoral stimulation.

Most women require stimulation of the clitoris and labia (the inner lips surrounding the clitoris) during sex to reach orgasm. Prolonged clitoral touch with a gentle, patient hand is, for many, the key to sexual ecstasy. Use sounds and positive words to guide your lover, showing your partner how to stroke you just so.

The sacred spot.

The mythic Grafenberg Spot (G-spot) is referred to in Tantra as the "sacred spot." This potent and mysterious erogenous zone is located about two to three inches up on the front side of the vaginal channel. When your lover is aroused, slip your ring finger into her vagina allowing your fingertip to brush against the inner wall.

The G-spot is between the size of a pea and a quarter with a slightly rippled texture. For some women, though not for all, gentle stimulation can induce powerful orgasms and even female ejaculate. However, take care not to over-stimulate this sensitive spot.

The man's sacred spot (P-spot) When the prostate gland is stimulated, it can both feel pleasurable and facilitate orgasm. These sexual feelings emanate from the prostate gland (male P-spot), the emotional nerve center of a man’s sex life and sexuality.

The tightness of the muscles and tissues surrounding the glands, however, can restrict  a healthy prostate gland's flexibility and pulsation. To remain healthy, the prostate gland must expand and contract with each breath to get a sufficient supply of blood.

Besides softening and shrinking the prostate gland, the ancient tantric practice of male P-spot massage can relax the surrounding muscles and boost blood flow in the prostate gland. 

An easily learned practice, you can perform Sacred Spot stimulation during lovemaking to produce a mind-blowing ejaculation. After all, a prostate massage is far more pleasurable when the male is sexually excited. The rush of blood and energy obtained through regular sexual activity benefits the male P-spot as the prostate‘s ejaculatory pulsations enhance not only the gland's muscular strength and flexibility, but also cleanse the organ.

This ancient Tantric practice of Sacred Spot massage also release stuck emotions, a chief source of prostate issues.  In summary, prostate massage increases the circulation of blood and energy to the male P-spot, thus preventing infection, enlargement or cancer. Along with its many benefits, the woman who lovingly provides prostate message to her male partner supports his sexual health and overall well being in an active, caring manner.

Clearly, some heterosexual men are reticent to get up close and personal with their prostate, often due to their concern of being perceived as gay or feminine. That said, enjoying prostate stimulation is not related to a man's gender orientation.

Despite their sexual preference, all men share the same anatomical makeup. Moreover, the more men explore prostate massage with their partners, the quicker everyone can accept it as a natural, enjoyable part of a healthy sex life.


According to Tantric philosophy, lovers who have practiced these ancient techniques can learn to direct sexual energy through the body's "chakras," or energy centers. Moving the energy of orgasm through these physical channels is thought to create sensations of ecstasy throughout the body and to enhance health.

So all you really need is to let go and have fun exploring try setting your intention before each time you practise anything erotic, sensual or sexual in nature (solo or together) to ensure you are doing so from a place of consciousness, awareness and deep loving connection. Sound is often the key to unlocking your orgasmic potential. So often we hold back our noise, we depress it for fear of being heard, what others may think, having the housemates listen in etc. The thing is when we suppress sound, we run the risk of suppressing our pleasure too." To receive is to allow one's self to be vulnerable, open and seen. It is an intimate moment of exposure and leads to deeper, authentic connections. As we practise Tantra the art of love making (even solo sex) becomes just that An art."

"Allow the flow of this energy to move you as you breathe each other in, and sound off together. Take it in turns to surrender to one another and just receive no giving just allow yourself to be fully worshiped in that moment and practise asking your beloved, or yourself, for that which you most deeply desire in that moment. This might be scary for you, but begin to practise conscious communication (even if it is with just yourself) to know that you are worth it, and when you know what turns you on and can ask for what it is you need. More often than not you will be met there"



75 views

Recent Posts

See All
®© Copyright