Tantric Sex Tips That Can Help With Premature Ejaculation

Updated: Sep 19, 2019


By the way, everything written here is completely applicable to same gender sex.


Premature ejaculation can cause significant personal and interpersonal distress to a man and his partner. While it has been recognized as a syndrome for well over 100 years, the clinical definition of premature ejaculation has been vague, ambiguous, and lacking in objective.

Teaching men to last longer and to have control over their ejaculation through a basic understanding of their own bodies and energies.


I hope that my words & writing will inspire you and open your eyes and minds to the vast potential stored within your sexual energy.


With the knowledge that will be presented here there are no boundaries to how far you can go and how high you can soar. Unlocking the mysteries of our sexuality is like finding the key to the universal cosmic bang. Within the sexual energy lies a huge potential, which if harnessed correctly can strengthen our body and psyche while giving a wide range of benefits ranging from more confidence, charisma, more will power, more empathy, better intuition, more intelligence, and the list goes on and on…..


So what is Premature Ejaculation?

Review of literature 2018 from US, Canada and Europe suggests that premature ejaculation (PE) is under diagnosed. Men are reluctant to discuss it with their physicians, often, men with PE have trouble lasting long enough to help their partners have an orgasm. This can lead to dissatisfaction with sex, stress in the relationship, and feelings of shame or anxiety, anger at ones self.

Premature ejaculation is a form of sexual dysfunction that can adversely affect the quality of a man's sex life. Ejaculation is the release of semen from the body. Premature ejaculation is uncontrolled ejaculation either before or shortly after sexual penetration. It happens with minimal sexual stimulation and before the person wishes. Occasional PE is also known as rapid ejaculation, premature climax or early ejaculation. PE might not be a cause for worry. It can be frustrating if it makes sex less enjoyable and impacts relationships. However if it happens often and causes problems, your health care provider can help.


Dealing with premature ejaculation? You are not alone. Approximately 20 to 30 percent of men experience premature ejaculation, according to a study published in July 2016 in Drug Discovery Today. This often-embarrassing sexual issue can affect men of any age. In the U.S., about 1 in 3 men 18 to 59 years old have problems with PE. Europe PE was diagnosed in 201 of 1115 men. Findings were similar to those in a similarly conducted US study.

The problem is often thought to be psychological, but biology may also play a role.

In most cases, there is a psychological cause, and the prognosis is good. Medical causes more rarely, However there may be a biological cause.


The following are possible medical causes of PE:

Diabetes, Multiple sclerosis, Prostate disease, Thyroid problems, Illicit drug use

Excessive alcohol consumption, Sedentary life style.

PE can be a sign that an underlying condition needs treatment.


Three quarters of men ejaculate before 2 minutes have passed of full penetration in over 50% of their sexual encounters. Other surveys show that 75% of men ejaculate within 10 minutes of penetration. Most men have experience premature ejaculation at least one time in their lives.

Between 30% and 70% of men in Canada have PE - It affects 25-40% of men in the United Sates. It's one of the most common sexual problems in men.


As I am a Tantric practitioner who knows through personal experience that men can

last as long as they want, I define premature ejaculation as ejaculating before you would like.


Many reasons are offered why men ejaculate quickly. A very popular explanation is that it is hardwired into the masculine body. Ancient man had to ejaculate quickly to ensure that the Continuity of our Species and generate as many offspring as he could, with as many women as he could, so that no matter the situation the man delivers his semen to the woman.

Men grow up believing that the ultimate goal of sexuality is the release of pent up sexual energy in a wild orgasm with ejaculation. All porn scenes end with the guy ejaculating all over the woman’s breasts, face or backside. All movies depicting lovemaking scenes show the couple in a sexual frenzy ending with a wild orgasm that they get at the same time.

The message is clear: getting the orgasm at the same time is seen as the pinnacle of

a successful sexual encounter showing how we focus more on the goal than the process.


In this quest to attain the goal and to release our tension and energy as quickly as possible we forget about the energy flow, and sensuality. We forget about the more gentle, caressing and loving aspects of sexuality and we forget that sexual energy actually is the most powerful energy we have in our body and that it can be harnessed and channeled into a wide range of beneficial healing and strengthening processes in the body and psyche.


How do you become aware of being turned on, or angry, or nervous, or in love? Your internal energy causes sensations in your body.

It's what acupuncturists and massage therapists work with every day.


The Nature of men.

The very structure of the masculine had lead men to being out of touch with their emotions, bodies and sexuality. If a man is in his body & in the present moment, there is no goal, there is only the experience of now … in this state of presence a man can become aware of the waves of pleasure & arousal moving through his body & with the support of a tantric therapist, learn to ride them …thus creating for himself multiple & whole body orgasms & the ability to ride pleasure without ejaculation or loosing an erection.


Sensations in the body and emotions can often be disturbing factors for most men.

Men can have an incredibly tough time dealing with their own emotions not to mention the emotions of their partners. It is sad and perhaps disturbing that one of the reasons that so many men suffer from premature ejaculation is because we simply know next to nothing about sexuality and the role it plays in our lives.

The level of knowledge most people have about sexuality is next to none.

The sexual education provided in schools is very minimal to say the least

Sex education is the instruction of issues relating to human sexuality, including emotional relations and responsibilities, human sexual anatomy, sexual activity, sexual reproduction, age of consent, reproductive health, reproductive rights, safe sex, birth control and sexual abstinence.

It does not teach about sexual energy, touch, or how to talk to your partner in an open honest way.

The suppression and repression of our sexuality is one of the biggest problems humankind is currently suffering from. According to my research we’ve been dealing with this problem for many hundreds of years now. The root cause of most of the problems — even the seemingly unrelated ones — that we’re dealing with in societies around the world can be traced back to sexual suppression and repression.

We see the results of this ignorance nowadays, in all the kinds of strange pornography, sexual addictions, and the fact that many health experts actively are advising men to ejaculate daily in order to prevent prostate cancer. As a society, we are still in the beginning of understanding sexuality and how it ties into our lives.


I hope to present to you a healthy new path you can follow, which does not repress sexual energy, does not waste your sexual energy, but teach you to use sexuality in a harmonious loving and profound way helping you to last longer in bed and to create an enormous transformation in your life at all levels.

In the practices of higher sex, one learns not to try and control this force, but rather how to relax and fully enjoy it, by making more space for it. Not limiting it, but rather expanding one’s capacity to enjoy the pleasures of sensual and sexual excitement.

Tantra in stills a nurturing environment in which you can feel confident that you won’t be judged for becoming extremely excited to the degree of losing control. In fact, it encourages you to create a safe atmosphere that will support you in feeling comfortable enough to completely surrender to pleasure.


Tantra – a spiritual system entwined with Yoga that also embraces sexuality. Tantra is about expansion of the consciousness, and sexual Tantra accepts that we spontaneously have these high states of consciousness, manifesting as love, bliss & presence, when we orgasm. The more powerful the orgasm, the more powerful this expansion.

I tell clients... " That there's nothing 'wrong with them organically. They need to hear that their sexual habits are a natural product of the way they have been taught to experience their sexuality.

It is merely education and practicing new habits that can transform their sexual experience.

The exercises are cumulative, which means later ones build on earlier ones. This isn't to say you can't blow through some of the stuff that's easy for you very quickly. Go right ahead, just try everything and see if you've got the knack first.

I'm asking you now to commit to the long haul. Ideally, this is a life time program. If you practice an hour a day, you might get through it in 6months.

More likely, you'll practice several times a week and take 6 to 12 months. Can you arrange that to become an Orgasm Master?

I recommend against just an hour a week. It's not enough to develop the momentum where your mastery of one skill builds on the previous one.


Key steps to help you on your journey to lasting longer

Exercises

Like yoga have been shown to help those suffering from sexual dysfunction. In fact, those who practice Tantra recommend Kundalini yoga, because it's been shown to have tantric benefits, especially if you perform the poses with a partner. This particular type of yoga can relieve your stress and relax your body. In addition, because it is a yoga of awareness, it will improve your ability to sense and understand your sexual needs as well as your partner's sexual needs. Finally, Kundalini yoga helps to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which can be helpful when you're attempting to delay your orgasm.

Feeling good about yourself

The first thing you need to believe is that there is nothing wrong with you. Cumming is a good thing. OK, it does not always happen when you want it to.

Just consider it a timing problem which in the overwhelming majority of cases is easily corrected with training. However there is a very small chance that you have a medical condition causing your timing problem. It's not a bad idea to have a doctor check out your equipment if you suspect anything less than robust health.

As an adult we adapted our behavior into a social persona, creating defenses, that block our energy flow. Holding in emotions not only cause emotional suffering, but physical pain, glandular imbalances, tension and often disease……. There for Removing negative emotions about yourself and your sexuality can have a huge impact on your performance. These negative emotions can completely sabotage any steps you take bringing you back full circle. The moment you can forgive and accept yourself allowing yourself to release negative emotions such as self--‐loathing and guilt that you have linked to your sexuality is incredibly healing .

To open ourselves to true intimacy and the promise of exquisite union, we must embrace those parts of ourselves that are hurt, that have been rejected in the past, that may not make sense to others (or even ourselves sometimes). But we also have to love those parts of ourselves

that have criticized, berated and shamed us, accepting that those parts were trying to keep us safe, misguided though the methods may have been.

What does this have to do with sex and the possibility of achieving a satisfying orgasm? If we are holding ourselves back in any way physically, emotionally, or energetically, we will be limited in our sexual experience. If you do not trust that you will be accepted in all your flaws, as well as your beauty, your body will reflect that. If you do not trust your partner(s) physically or emotionally, you will be withdrawing rather than opening, often unconsciously.

Relaxation

If the body is tense and contracted, then things just don’t flow that well, and the sexual energy will tend to be trapped in the area of the genitals. Often when fighting the need to ejaculate, men will tense up the entire body, more and more and more, until you pass the ‘point of no return’, and explode. However counter intuitive it may be – staying relaxed in all the muscles of the body actually gives you much more ejaculation control. For starters, there is a link between body and mind, so a relaxed body will help you have a relaxed mind. Also when you do ejaculate there is a series of muscles contractions in the genitalia and sexual system, and ejaculation cannot happen if these contractions do not happen, and these contractions cannot happen if your body is relaxed. Of course, this takes practice.

So it will take practice to retrain your body to stay relaxed during lovemaking. And the very best support for this is your breath. If your breath stays normal and relaxed, the rest of your body will stay normal and relaxed too. So paying attention to your breath, when it starts to speed up, then slow down your movements until the breath slows.

Lifestyle:

You need to adhere to certain lifestyles and diets to harmonize your body, cure problems with premature ejaculation and to last longer in bed. This will not only help you to last longer in bed, it will also fill you with energy and vitality as you are living a lifestyle that supports your structure.

So balance your hormones --‐ The natural way! No pills and drugs.

Kegel Exercises

Kegels are easy to do, once you know which muscles to target. One of the easiest ways to locate your muscles is during urination.

Here’s how:

Halfway through urination, try to stop or slow down the flow of urine.

Don’t tense the muscles in your buttocks, legs, or abdomen, and don’t hold your breath.

When you can slow or stop the flow of urine, you’ve successfully located these muscles.

Squeezing these muscles gives a pulling sensation; these are the right muscles for pelvic exercises. It's important not to contract other muscles.

Contract these muscles for a slow count of five.

Release the muscles to a slow count of five.Repeat 10 times.

Do a set of 10 Kegels daily, three times a day.

When you’re first starting, it may be easier to do Kegel exercises lying down, so your muscles aren’t fighting against gravity. It may also be easier to contract the muscles for just two or three seconds at first.

After a few weeks, increase the time until eventually you’re contracting the muscles for a slow five or 10 seconds, and do the exercises standing up. That puts more weight on the muscles, boosting your workout and improving your control.

Remember not to tense your buttock, legs, or stomach muscles while you’re doing Kegels.

The mechanics of orgasms, ejaculation, and sexual energy.

Orgasm is an intense transient peak sensation of intense pleasure creating an altered state of consciousness associated with reported physical changes. Ante-grade ejaculation is a complex physiological process that is composed of two phases (emission and expulsion), and is influenced by intricate neurological and hormonal pathways.

Sexual stimulation and friction provide the impulses that are delivered to the spinal cord and into the brain. Ejaculation is a reflex action controlled by the central nervous system. It is triggered when the sexual act reaches a critical level of excitement.

It has two phases.

In the first phase,

the vas deferens (the tubes that store and transport sperm from the testes) contract to squeeze the sperm toward the base of the penis and the prostate gland and seminal vesicles release secretions to make semen. At this stage, the ejaculation is unstoppable.

In the second phase,

muscles at the base of penis contract every 0.8 seconds and force the semen out of the penis in up to 5 spurts.

These contractions of your pelvic muscles that cause the actual release of semen are also the main ones that cause the fantastic pleasure. By strengthening those muscles and heightening your sensitivity of this whole process, you can avoid the emission phase altogether and still enjoy the wonderful ecstasy of the expulsion spasms without ejaculating.


There’s another even better way to describe what Orgasm is all about from a Tantric perspective. You build up sexual tension through more and more arousal until you seemingly have no other option but to release the sexual energy through ejaculating. In fact, the Solution to mastering dry orgasms and unlimited stamina is recirculating the energy within your body. If you can spread the excitement all over, not only does it feel great, but the urge to ejaculate subsides.


The Western view of sex is a race to the climax after which lovers physically collapse. The Eastern view of physical love which slowly brings both partners to higher and higher heights of ecstasy time and time again. The essence of this is to get out of your head and into your body. Relax and stay in the moment, tuning into those wonderful feelings emanating from your sensitive places. Drop all your standards and goals and just ride the wave of energy. Don't push yourself or your partner for the Big O. When you learn to surf your sexual energy without attempting to control the outcome, you'll be able to go with the flow in a loose and natural way indefinitely.

Sexual Energy Management

Energy, like water, is the life-giving sustenance of the earth. Where water flows, life flourishes. That same principle is at work in our bodies. If we want a healthy body, energy must circulate to all parts. Without proper energy flow, the body creates tension, sickness, and disease. It is like a stagnant pool . Without continuous circulation, things have a tendency to become malignant.

Sexual energy is not only beneficial to the body but fuels the emotions as well, which can either blaze out of control or create warm, comfortable, glowing energy in the body. Sexual imbalances can cloud the mind with distorted thoughts and skewed desires, but a balanced sexuality can be the source of creativity and a way of fulfilling our dreams. It is also the energy that can create spiritual fulfillment, as it is a force that unifies and creates wholeness out of opposites.

It is very important to remember that sexual energy must be used in the proper way and not to be suppressed or eliminated. Whether you have a partner or not, the ideas and exercises talked about here are vitally important for sexual health.

Controlling Arousal

Presence refers to mindfulness, to a state of being right here and right now. As you keep letting go of any distractions of your mind, you’ll be more capable of remaining deeply connected to your body and your experience. As we become distracted, lost in fantasy or getting ahead of ourselves while chasing an orgasm, we tend to miss out on tons of amazingly beautiful sensations and pleasure in our bodies. In order to remain present, keep your entire attention inside of your body. Keep noticing every shiver of pleasure, every tingle of delight, all the vibrancy and juiciness in your body. Remember – men usually experience premature ejaculation simply because they are not aware of just how aroused they are. So don’t let that rapid release surprise you.

In order to become a multi-orgasmic man, you need to be perfectly aware of how fast you become aroused. Unfortunately, very few men pay attention to their own rhythm of sexual arousal. Instead, they pass on from erection to ejaculation like race cars, without taking the time to notice, enjoy, and watch the road they are walking on. In the initial stages of arousal, the penis becomes swollen, gaining in length and thickness, as the tissue is swollen with blood. As the penis gains in erection, the valves close the veins, preventing the blood from returning to the body.

Many sex therapists recommend using a 10-point scale for monitoring your level of arousal during practice and sex play. This is one of the main things we'll be focusing on in the coming exercises.

0 = no arousal

1 = twinge at base of penis

2= occasional little surges of pleasure

3= starting to feel good

4 = steady hum low level arousal

5 = feeling really good, metabolism increases

6 = really into it, don't want to stop

7 = continuous rush of pleasure, fast breathing

8 = buzzing inside, face flushed, heart pounding

9 = intense pleasure, outside world is far away

9.5 = point of no return, emission phase begins

10 = ejaculation (expulsion phase)

As you practice, you'll learn to measure your level of arousal as it climbs towards 9.9, the point of no return. You've been enjoying yourself immensely and maybe even feeling far from squirting when all of a sudden you feel those involuntary contractions around your prostate and you know you're gonna cum. That's the often uninvited guest, 9.9, buddy.

Guys, you're going to have to play with yourself over and over again as you learn this system

If your focus is on pleasure not orgasm, then you won't be rushing headlong towards a destination. You won't be in a race towards the finish line. You won't have a schedule to meet. You'll just slow down and enjoy.

Solo Prep

How do you do it? Simply explained, you channel your sexual energy up your inner flute from your first chakra (the sex center at the base of the spine) so your little head doesn't explode in a gush of ejaculation. You redirect your orgasmic energy primarily by using the four cornerstones, presence, breath, sound, and movement. Admittedly, learning it may not be as simple as

describing it. Once you learn to circulate channel energy, you will experience amazingly powerful sensations. These are the primary tools of running energy - visualizing that juice spreading inside, breathing deep in the belly, moaning with pleasure, rocking your hips, and

squeezing your sexual muscles - which pumps energy up your inner flute.

Remember to breathe and focus on the overall sensations. What’s important is finding things that you enjoy without any sort of judgment or self-censorship involved. Eliminate pressure or expectations for what you “should” be doing and focus on learning about what you enjoy with regards to sex and pleasure.

Unfortunately, most Westerners are not properly educated about sexuality and sexual energy. Sex is not considered a natural part of their being. The first time they touched their intimate parts, their parents most likely told them to get their hands out of their pants. Although this did not stop them from locking the bathroom or bedroom door they started to feel guilt and shame about masturbation.

Nonetheless, the Taoist masters considered masturbation (which they called solo cultivation or genital exercise) an essential method for increasing control over sexual energy and making it circulate through the whole body in order to revitalize it. In fact, the problem is too much ejaculation, as this exhausts the vital reserves of any man, whether it happens through intercourse or self-stimulation.

It is important to remember that your purpose is not to ejaculate, but to feel different degrees of intensity in erotic pleasure. This practice implies a turn towards the interior, an experience of your own pleasure, not experiencing someone's idea of pleasure.

It is also important that you stimulate the penis on its entire length. Most men focus their stimulation on the head of the penis, which is the most sensitive part. This is important because according to Chinese medicine, different parts of the penis's body correspond to different organs.

Therefore, you should stimulate the whole body of the penis, from base to head. Testicles respond very well to sensitive and gentle touching, although there are quite a few men who like firm caresses as well.

When practicing self-stimulation you should explore the spot between anus and testicles. Pressing this point before ejaculation will delay it and even prevent it from happening.

However, in the beginning you should only explore this point to get pleasure from it. Pressing this spot may bring a supplementary flux of blood into the penis, which will make it vibrate in a pleasant way.

Strong, rhythmical pressure applied to this point imitates the contractions of the prostate, which usually accompany orgasm in the contraction phase. You should stimulate this point after you have an erection for best results.

No technique is as successful in improving male orgasms as edging – holding back at the point of no return, resting, then working up to it again. And again. And again. Then repeat the process. Master the art of edging and you'll achieve contractile or "dry" orgasms: all the fun of the Big "O" minus the ejaculation and subsequent loss of erection.

Solo Mastery

In this realm, “orgasm” is not as most people tend to think of it: a