More than ever, people are overwhelmed. They face obstacles and egos and competition. Stillness Is the Key offering a simple but inspiring antidote to the stress of 24/7 news and social media. The stillness that we all seek is the path to meaning, contentment, and excellence in a world that needs more of it than ever.
Meditation provides clarity and that by quieting the mind, meditation allows freshness and innocence to return to the act of lovemaking. But there are also times for stillness. In fact, movement means so much.
more when it is contrasted to stillness. Stillness sling shots us into places that we could not go otherwise by making us wait – we settle, we feel, we awaken, we yearn, we ache – all the while pulling the elastic of the sling shot further and further back until we cannot stand it anymore.
It is the drive to get your own needs met and the drive to ensure your lovers needs get met... love both covers your lovers’ vulnerabilities and calls out their inadequacies... love accommodates and demands growth.
The beauty of loving tension is that it has something powerful residing within it’s... energy.
You do not get to choose when that energy will get released from the tension... you do get to choose whether it will be *intelligent creative empowering energy *or blind destructive destroying energy... it comes down to your personal intent... to *rise* and *empower* or *to control and manipulate?*
It's true that movement will create energy - breathing rhythmically and fast can create and stir energy in the body. Fast movement can stir up sexual energy to a raging torrent, but then eventually it subsides.
For many women who are in their 30's, 40's and beyond, the body, especially a sensitive body, may eventually find this draining and uninteresting, and will leave you feeling stirred up, fragmented and at times somewhat un-grounded, not quite feeling yourself. And just notice next time, do you feel connected to your partner or is there a strange feeling of separation after a while?
Stillness is a powerful way to experience each other and for most of us it does not come naturally. It is something that comes with maturity as we relax, stop trying so hard and just enjoy. When I think about some of the most profound encounters with the divine, it has been when I have been still.
You will become a more loving human being! If you wish to allow sex to uplift you to a higher state, then accessing the inherent energy within your body opens you a whole other world that simply cannot be accessed through conventional sex. This results in a softening of hearts, a melting of the egos, and a peacefulness between you that allows love to flow more freely.
There are so many ways for a woman to experience orgasms... and too many times men get caught in a single pattern... sometimes it was from your first serious girlfriend who liked it a certain way... sometimes it is from porn... sometimes it is something that you know "works" fast and easy for the woman in your life right now.
Most often men will default to hard... fast pounding to make a woman climax during sexual intercourse... and when you explore and add more variety you may find new ways that work better... things that. Work "differently"... which is always fun... and even things that she never even realized could make her come... the surprised look on her face is something you will definitely enjoy.
When one’s partner becomes essentially the meditation object, when the act of sex is entered into deliberately, patiently, when, while soul gazing, the focus is returned again and again to the other and to the space shared together a remarkable stillness experienced during deep meditation happens. And it can be a shared experience.
It’s an engaging activity that boldly draws awareness to bodily sensations happening right now, instead of thought. Holding the gaze of another also trains attention away from thought and back to this moment—as in meditation. Sacred sex is a natural playground for the mind to take a break—a portal to stillness. And, prolonging that experience beyond a ten second release is profoundly enlivening.
If you wish to allow sex to uplift you to a higher state, then accessing the inherent energy within
your body opens you a whole other world that simply cannot be accessed through conventional sex. This results in a softening of hearts, a melting of the egos, and a peacefulness between you that allows love to flow more freely.
That feeling of separation after conventional lovemaking does not happen because you have had plenty of time to savor each other and the divine energy that is naturally generated within and between you. The energy or life force is not being expelled outwards but rather is being retained within the body, and allowed to circulate to nourish the organs, the brain, your whole being.
I also believe that most of us are more content when we feel at peace, feel connected with ourselves, with another or others and feel love in our hearts. It's not always possible but they are the times that we feel like life is really worth living. Bringing a sense of stillness, and in particular a dynamic stillness can create that.
Automatically the same will happen - you become slower in your movement, more relaxed, yet alert, grounded, mindful. More conscious, more loving.
There is a stillness inside your being that evokes an incredible sensitivity, and an opening to the divine that cannot be conceived by the mind. A stillness that actually informs your every movement, so that any movement or nuance of movement while making love is instinctual, organic and rising from the grace of the body rather than the mind. You could almost say, every movement then, whether you are with another or not, becomes lovemaking.
For women you may notice the fine streaming of the 'inner rod of magnetism' between your breasts/nipples, the dynamic part of the female body and vagina and womb, the receptive area. For men you may notice the 'inner rod of magnetism' from the base of your penis, the dynamic.
part of the male body, to your heart/chest area, the receptive area.
*This is when sex transforms into love. * This is Tantra. This is where ecstatic states arise, without goal-oriented pushing of the mind. This is where deeper connection with your lover will automatically arise.
By soul-gazing and allowing our partner to become the object of our meditation we return our attention again and again to our Beloved, just as we do during regular meditation, and this helps us to dis-identify with the running critique that is normally organizing our experience. At the same time, we also bring a heightened awareness to bodily sensations, which ironically leads to a loss of awareness of the boundaries of our body and results in an increase in pleasure. The experience is riveting, and we are more willing to embrace and stay with the present moment, less inclined to go off on thought.
If you stay with the practice—rather than reaching for the next— release—the moment expands and is marked with a profound charged stillness. You will see that stillness reflected in the eyes of your lover—and they will see it in you.